Instincts and Rules

You should always make sure you follow your instincts

You know when something isn’t right and no collection of dos and don’ts can convince you otherwise. In my previous post I shared my dating rules, you can read that here, but no matter what you put in place for yourself you still need to trust your instincts.

The Story of Dickson Bollocks

texting instinctsOne of my friends, Hilda, had her own mistake with Dickson Bollocks. They chatted via text for a couple of days and she’d already suggested that he seemed to have a controlling personality but she was lonely, bored and on the rebound. Dickson also seemed to make the semi-nude selfie game they played fun too.

BIG MISTAKE!

Thankfully even the tame photos she sent didn’t have her face in. But she’s said many times that she should never have got involved with him.

Let me tell you why

Their date was in public and somewhere she knew. She drove, didn’t drink and kept her phone on and in her pocket at all times. Instincts niggled at her but she couldn’t put her finger on why. While chatting during the date she foolishly shared too much personal information. Eventually Hilda came to the decision that something wasn’t right. She politely explained she had to leave.

Dickson tried to convince her otherwise.

He repeatedly tried to persuade her to go to his house even though he was fully aware she wasn’t getting in any enclosed private spaces with him. But he had an argument for that too, “We can go in my garage with the garage door open and that way you’ll feel relaxed”.

She declined.

Finally they separated. Hilda explained she was popping to a friend’s house, which she did before driving the forty-five minutes home. The whole time she was there Dickson continued to text her asking her to come to his house for just fifteen minutes on her way home. She said no every time. Then he suggested ten minutes. Again she was adamant it wasn’t happening so he changed tactics saying that it could just be five minutes at a petrol station or a lay-by on her way home.

Yes, a lay-by.

fear dating instinctsShe wasn’t going anywhere near the lay-by.

Instincts had moved from nervy to freaking out. Dickson didn’t know exactly where she lived but he knew what route she’d have to take back to town. The entire drive home she was checking her rear view mirror. Rather than go straight home she met friends at the pub, worried what might happen next.

The messages continued

Dickson: Please send me some more photos. I know you have them on your phone. Please, it’s the least you can do after not coming to my house.

So she sent them.

Hilda told me that even at the time she knew she was a “fucking idiot” but she didn’t know what else to do. Too scared to tell people in case they judged her for going on the date and giving out too much personal information she couldn’t face their thoughts when she mentioned the initial photos she sent too. Sadly, in some weird way Hilda thought it would get him off her back.

Then she didn’t hear from him for a couple of days. Liberation doesn’t even come close to describing it, she thought he’d moved on.

But she was wrong

Eventually within days Dickson was back on the scene and wanting to meet again.

Hilda: I’m really sorry but I just don’t think I’m ready for a relationship.

Dickson: Thank you for telling me, I’m grateful you let me know rather than not replying.

Surely it was all over? No, the conversation carried on.

Dickson: As you don’t want anything more the least you could do is send me some more photos, it’s not really fair on me otherwise.

Hilda: No, I’m not going to do that.

Dickson: Do you want me to delete the other photos you sent?

Hilda: Yes I do but let’s be honest it doesn’t make a difference what I ask, you’ll do what you want with them.

That’s the problem with sending photos, you lose your control of them as soon as you press send.

dating safetyThis conversation carried on for about thirty minutes. Dickson kept on. He was an intelligent guy and knew exactly what to say and what questions to ask, including reminding her that he still had her photos. Hilda didn’t have enough experience for this situation and was too ashamed to ask someone who did.

Eventually she decided to stop replying, believing if he couldn’t get a response then he couldn’t mess with her head. Dickson’s messages continued for an hour.

Dickson: I can’t believe you’re ending it this way.

But when she stopped reading the messages and turned her phone off he stopped sending them. Hilda was still scared but she knew she’d got off lightly.

Dickson texted occasionally over the next four or five months. Messages like “I’m thinking about you”. But without a reply from her his game was over.

Dickson Bollocks taught Hilda a lesson and he taught me one too.

There are creepy guys out there but listening to your instincts and following your own rules can keep you safe, to some extent.

Thankfully online dating has good guys too.

Have you had a guy like Dickson Bollocks in your life or a situation where you’re relieved to say you used your instincts? Please add to the comments section here or via my Facebook page or Twitter page.

Rules and Suggestions

These are my rules for me

But they might work for you too. Over the years of dating I learnt things that kept me safe. In part 2 I’ll tell you a story from a friend that reinforces, to me, that rules and instincts are crucial.

You might read my rules and think I’m overzealous. In some ways I would agree with you and there have been dates where I went with my instincts and didn’t follow my “rules” religiously. But they’ve also kept me safe in more dangerous situations.

General “Rules”

  • dating rulesDon’t take nude or semi-nude photos of yourself to send to someone that include your face.  See why in my dick pic blog post here
  • Don’t give out too much personal information. That includes your address, exactly where you work or information about your family. I avoided LinkedIn for that reason. I didn’t want someone to find me with just two clicks of a mouse and turning up at my work.
  • Don’t become Facebook friends early on and make sure you have full privacy settings on your social media so that they can’t work out enough things to find you.

Before you go on the date

  • Get their surname. Although keep in mind that anyone reluctant to give out their surname may have a completely reasonable explanation, don’t immediately assume the worse.
  • Swap up to date selfies. It gives a helpful idea of who you’ll be seeing and prepares you for any uncontrollable reactions you may have on first meeting.
  • Find out a bit about the job they do (it doesn’t need to be the organisation/company). It will give you something to talk about too.
  • Find out if they’re after casual sex or longer term. Does that match with what you want?
  • Think about what questions you might ask or subjects you might focus on in case there’s a conversation lull. Silence on a first date can be awkward and uncomfortable and while it’s not a job interview sometimes a bit of preparation helps.
  • Speak on the phone, even for just a short time. It can help calm the nerves too.
  • I don’t do this but one friend recommended doing a google search, just in case they’re a wanted murderer!
  • Find out what town they live in. It might be that the app or the website has messed up and they’re 200 miles away rather than the 2 you thought.

stranger danger datingRemember that you’ve never met this person and while they may appear lovely and charming it doesn’t mean you know them.

It’s suddenly date night, what dos and don’ts should you be considering?

  • Do plan your own transport, whether it’s train, bus or driving. A quick escape might be necessary and you don’t want to be requesting change from them while trying to make a swift emergency exit. Don’t get into their car, if you do then you’re completely at their mercy. In all seriousness I’ve heard a story of someone who was attacked by a man on her first date in his car. It’s not worth putting yourself in a situation like this.
  • Don’t get drunk. I’m not saying stay stone cold sober, after all you may feel you need to settle your nerves. But too much alcohol can lead to decisions that you normally wouldn’t make and as a result put you in a vulnerable position. Even worse, our douchebag side might come out of its hidden depths. I’ve been on a date with a guy who, in his drunkenness, ended up telling me all sorts of secrets and stories, including exes he’d cheated on.
  • Don’t reveal where you live. If the potential is in any way unhinged you’re welcoming a stalker into your life.
  • Don’t go back to theirs. Also, ideally don’t invite them back to yours either. Obviously if the aim is to hook up then some of these rules won’t work for you.
  • Don’t leave your phone alone with them at any point, who knows what they’ll do with it?
  • Do meet somewhere public. Safety is important at all times. This also gives you some control in a situation that can put you at risk.
  • Do encourage physical contact if you want it. If you’re shy or taking it slow then the occasional brush of the leg and touching hands over the table can make a massive difference. I’m not saying maul them, unless you’re both up for that, but there’s also no harm in holding a little back either if you prefer to do that.
  • Do tell someone where you’re going, who with, what time you’re meeting them and when you should be home by. I had a friend that had a time to call me if I haven’t called them first.
  • Do make sure the other person is safe getting home but don’t force your presence on them if they’d rather be alone.

date night safetyOther things like where and when you meet up and who pays is best left to the people involved and the decisions aren’t anyone else’s business.

So you’ve read my “rules” and you’re left in shock and horror – I must be the most conservative woman in the world. Well… not really. I’ve gone against all my rules at one time or another. But this is what worked for me and I’ll tell you in my next post one reason why.

I have one more “do”. You may find this a little extreme but it made me feel safe. On my phone I had the “find my IPhone” app and I gave the password to my sister. They knew to check it if I didn’t contact them after a certain number of hours. It also meant if I ended up on a date with a murderer they’d know what skip to find my phone in… joking, hopefully.

One complication came on my first date with Mr Fumble and I got a message from my sister asking

“Why haven’t you left the house yet???”

Awkward!

Now it’s your turn to tell me what your dating rules are. Let me know in the comments section or via my Facebook page or Twitter page.

Working It – A New Erotic Anthology

A New Erotic Anthology

working it anthologyI have a new story featured in an anthology. Working It is a collection of sixteen stories that explore sex in the working world. Everybody’s working it, grinding away at the nine to five, when all we really want to do is escape to take a hot tumble on the boss’s desk. Let this sexy collection whisk you away from the office. Will you succumb to the casual charm of your new client, tip over the edge for your warehouse trainee, or get a long-thought of revenge on the supervisor making your life hell? White collar. Blue collar. It doesn’t matter what collar you’re wearing once the shirts come off. Leave the office behind with Working It.

Published by SinCyr Publishing, edited and launched by Harley Easton and CM Peters.

I’ve worked in a variety of places, some dull and some full of rumours about who is doing who on what desk. I’m fascinated by the dynamics of the boss/subordinate relationships and the gossip that surrounded the little flirty advances in the workplace. The first day after the debauched Christmas party was always a fun one!

Power Play

My story for this anthology is called Power Play. It taps into the excitement that can occur in the office at night.

What would you do if you had no supervision and a need to work out your sexual needs?

ghosted eroticPower Play focuses around an established married couple who can’t find the time to enjoy each other the way they want to. We’ve all heard people joke that couples with kids don’t have sex, which I know isn’t true but having children means you might have different constraints to your sex life than you had before. Most of the stories I’ve read online that feature couples are usually about affairs or break-ups.

I wanted to tell a different side.

So we have a married couple and an office at night. What could go wrong? I couldn’t write a story about the office without including a hideous boss. Most of us have had a boss we didn’t like, for whatever reason. The boss in Power Play may not be exactly like one you’ve had but some aspects may be familiar. The ones in my life sometimes got their comeuppance but I can’t promise the same for the one in this story.

To find out more about Power Play you’ll have to read it. You can buy it here.

But before you go here is a little treat.

An excerpt from Power Play

Picking up the phone, she returned the sentiment with a wave as the only voice that could turn her grimace into a smile trickled into her ears. “Hey, honey.”

They weren’t always a passionate couple; sometimes the way Simon picked at his fingers made her want to tie his hands together while she pushed him out of bed. But no one could reach inside her stomach and drop it from the highest height with a few whispered words like he could. It made her change of plans more difficult to share. She fluffed the paper of her notebook unsure how to start.

“I hope those are the sounds of you packing up. The table is booked for 7.30pm and I can’t wait to watch you get ready. You know that’s one of my favorite parts of a night out with you. It never fails to remind me how lucky I am to be your husband.”

She smiled at the sweetness of his words but the smile quickly turned into a sad squeeze of her lips. “I love that too,” she replied wistfully.

“What’s wrong?” Simon asked but she knew he’d know. It was the same thing that was always wrong these days. “What’s the witch done now?”

“I can’t go out tonight. She’s given me the end of quarter figures to complete. I’m not going to be home for at least another four hours,” she replied, absentmindedly thumbing the stack of papers in front of her.

“Then I’ll bring dinner to you. The kids are at your sister’s, we might as well spend the evening together, even if I have to come back into work.”

“But with you here, I won’t get anything done. Have a night to yourself, you don’t get one often. Enjoy the opportunity to chill out.” The sighing response made her despondency acuter.

“I had plans for you tonight,” his voice had dropped to nearly a growl. It was his tell-tale sexual timbre. It was for the best he wasn’t coming anywhere near the office; she wouldn’t be able to resist him. “I could still fulfill those plans with you at the office.”

A flush slowly crept up her body. It filled her limbs, even the tips of her fingers felt the first sparks of arousal. How could the suggestion of office fun be such an instant aphrodisiac?

Other Stories

To take a look at my other books please go to the Books section of my website here. It includes a short story that was inspired by one of my previous workplaces. Check out Work for Me for another office based encounter. It begins with a sexy young carpenter one alcohol fuelled night.

Goodbye Moderation: Gluttony

Stories are like buses; nothing comes along for an age and then suddenly several anthologies at once. I have another one coming out soon but first let me introduce you to WAM Bam, a story I wrote for Goodbye Moderation: Gluttony. It’s is like nothing I’ve tried before.

Goodbye Moderation: Gluttony is a collection of stories about the real side of love and lust

Goodbye moderation gluttonyNothing succeeds like excess, and too much is never enough…

In a world where indulging our appetites is too often seen as a bad, selfish way to live, this anthology offers delightfully wicked stories of people feasting unashamedly on pleasure.

Discover carnal pleasures that combine catering and cunnilingus, devour these delicious tales of abandon and allow yourself to be inspired by characters who long to taste all that life and lust can offer, whether their focus is food, sex or a combination of the two.

By turns sweet, sticky, sensuous and startling, you’ll find these offerings finger-lickin’ good.

Goodbye Moderation: Gluttony is a collection of 12 short stories written by a variety of authors including Jordan Monroe, Annabeth Leong and Elna Holst. It is published by Sexy Little Pages and has been edited by the brilliant Zak Jane Keir.

WAM Bam

The story I wrote for this anthology was inspired by a guy I met once. We dated a little but it didn’t turn into anything. You can read more about him here.

WAM sploshing gluttonyThat guy, who for blogging purposes I named Peter Wang, was a big fan of Wet and Messy Play, also known as WAM or Sploshing. For him the biggest turn on was the idea of being gunged while people laughed at his humiliation. While this story doesn’t go in that direction it does bring in the idea of teasing someone with whipped cream, shoving frosting in places it isn’t used to going and the excitement of trying a fetish you never considered before. For love we can do the things that we once thought impossible. I now live with a snake for goodness sake!

Back to the Story

But this story isn’t about me or about Peter Wang, it’s about the sacrifices you might make for love. It’s about the fear that goes with trying something new.

Will Josie go through with it or will her relationship come to a sticky end?

Give yourself the chance to read something new. What could be more gluttonous with Christmas and Thanksgiving around the corner than a bit of WAM?

To buy the book or find out more about it click here.

Don’t forget to read this excerpt first

“What’s in your hand?” he asked, in a trembling whisper.

“Don’t you recognise squirty cream when you see it?” she asked, delighting in the way his whole body juddered when she attempted to spray some on her finger. Unfortunately, she must have shaken the can too much – or not enough – because, as soon as she pressed down the nozzle, it splatted everything within her vicinity. “Damn, that was meant to be sexy.”

“It was,” he replied with a gulp, barely noticing the cream sinking into carpet.

Giving it a quick shake, she squirted it again. The cream plopped onto her finger, the smell of sugar hitting the air instantly. With a cheeky grin, she sucked her finger dry, fixing her eyes on Paul. The reward for her initial foray into the afternoon’s entertainment was his open mouth and reddening face.

“But,” he stammered, before clearing what sounded like a building site of gravel from his throat, “why do you have it?”

Dropping her voice, she teased him into her confidence. His eyes widened at each word of her plan. But suspicion remained, drawing his eyebrows together and pursing his kissable lips.

There was something else demanding her attention. As she spoke, he neared her, revealing a masterful tenting in his shorts. She’d been lucky enough to become well acquainted with his cock over the past five months. It was perfect; not too big, not too small. She felt like Goldilocks when she got to taste it for the first time. It was just right.

The vehemence of his erection at her intentions caused a different sort of reaction. Warmth spread around her sex. Desire had sneaked up on her and, in response she fluttered her eyelashes, offering him more of her temptations.

Paul rarely failed to get a hard on when they were together but, today, he looked like he was fit to burst.

“And what happens to whoever wins Battleships?” he asked, as she finished sharing the planned delights of their afternoon.

“It’s a surprise. But you’ll love it, or maybe I will,” she winked, with a teasing grin.

 

 

7 Facts About Me

A Girl in Islington, a lovely lady that I follow on twitter wrote an interesting blog post with facts about her love life. It makes for a brilliant read. Make sure you take a look here. I was lucky enough to be mentioned as one of her favourite 15 bloggers.

So strap yourself in because here are seven facts about me.

  • I’ve presented a couple of radio shows

That’s all it was, several one hour radio shows. It was terrifying, I made an ass of myself and unsurprisingly as a result I don’t have a career in radio. I vaguely remember singing along to Steve Harley’s Make Me Smile. It did wonders for my confidence though, once I stopped shaking. I’m sure the listeners could hear me trembling through their speakers.

  • I’m a vanilla erotic romance writer

before the slaughterThe stories I enjoy writing incorporate romance, a happy ever after (or happy for now), life issues and sexy times. I’m currently working on an erotic romance centred around a rugby playing artist who has a painful secret and a woman working for a children’s charity. I’m also completing an anthology that includes a story about a couple who’ve struggled to have sex due to problems with infertility. Life is a bitch at times and my stories reflect that. Don’t forget the sex though.

  • I’ve brushed Tinky Winky

Well, technically I brushed his costume and he wasn’t wearing it. I did work experience at the production company that makes Teletubbies. It was an eye opening experience that I remember fondly. I also learnt how to use a cafetiere. What a clueless 15 year old I was!

  • I lost my virginity after my mid-twenties

You don’t hear that one everyday. I used to be a good Christian girl who wanted to wait until I was married but then some significant things happened in my life and I decided that I might never get married. I wasn’t going to live without ever having had sex so I decided things had to change. Happily my first time was amazing although the guy broke my heart. I regret nothing.

  • Online dating inspired me

Online dating hook upsI haven’t always enjoyed online dating. However, without doing it I wouldn’t have met my boyfriend. I’m now trying to deal with “living with a boy” and his snake. I mean the reptile version. Online dating gave me ideas for my stories too. I have one coming out in an anthology soon about WAM (wet and messy play, aka sploshing). It’s not something I’ve ever done or want to do but I met a guy once who was a big fan and told me all about it. Online dating has also caused me much heartbreak – read about Mr Fumble here. Heartbreak offers excellent inspiration to a romance writer.

  • I’m 1 in 250 million

I have two rare medical conditions.  I’ve spent a lot of my life in hospitals being poked and prodded. Things are okay now but who knows what the future holds.

  • I once sexted a guy while I was in church

    sextingThe vicar’s wife nearly saw a picture of his penis. I was half way through a reply to him (or rather a photo of him) when she started talking to me after the service. I decided after this debacle that maybe I needed a break from going to church as my heart wasn’t in it.

I also have a dress up box and I’m obsessed with Pokemon Go, I’m leaving those facts there though because I’m not sure how interesting they are.

Those were my facts and I’d love to read yours too. There are many tweeters I think would have some fascinating facts including:

Stephanie Simpson

Jolie Vines

Everybodys Mate

Not So Sex In the City

Eliza

The Gif Queen

Kate

Basia

Not So Sadly Single

Jesse Stuart

Please tell me your facts, even if I haven’t mentioned your name. You can add them here or on my Facebook or Twitter pages.

Phil Dew part 2 – Could I Change Him?

If you missed part one of my Phil Dew experience and why I decided to play games then you can read it here. If you’re up to date enjoy what happened next.

Can You Change Someone?

changeMy mum once told me, “Don’t ever think you can change a man because you can’t.”

I should have realised when Phil first told me that the distance was too much that I wasn’t a game player. Ball games have never been part of my skill set…!

I was heading for a romance car crash if I thought I had any chance of swaying Phil’s decision. Sadly not only did I ignore the saying, I also ignored my instincts. More worryingly I ignored everything I’d already witnessed about Phil. The guy liked to have things his way and was as stubborn as me. Eventually we did go on that first date and it lasted eight hours.

everyone knowsIt was filled with laughter, smiles, the sort of subtle touches you make when you want to grab each other and kiss but are too scared to do anything so bold. In the end there was kissing, in a park where we enjoyed the warming sun. Our kissing was accompanied by a guy playing a guitar and singing so badly that Phil was ready to break the wood in two but the kissing kept him busy enough to control his annoyance.

So it all ended okay after the date and we lived happily ever after?

Don’t be so ridiculous.

What could go wrong?

Our friendship, where we refused to acknowledge the distance while continuing to talk about how much we cared about each other and rejecting the option to date other people carried on at a heady pace. I visited him for the weekend and got on with his friends. Even his dog loved me and his “little” Philip seemed happy to be in my company too, not that we got too physical. I guess holding that back was part of my ineffective game plan.

But none of this mattered because eventually things came to a head when I invited him to stay at mine. The avoidance tactic wasn’t working for either of us anymore. In typical fashion it wasn’t a grown up sharing of well thought out opinions it was the thrown out insults of two hurting people forced into a situation where there was no happy solution.

The real friendship and romance ended there

That evening tears brimmed at my eyes and eventually I sobbed. It was the teen romance I’d never experienced. Since then we’ve tried chatting a couple of times but it’s never worked. The trust, the care and the friendship had already been destroyed. No one who has genuinely cared about me has hurt me to the extent that he did and so the friendship couldn’t go back in time. I guess if I’d let it lie when he originally said he couldn’t do distance things might have been different but in the long run it caused more hurt than it healed.

Maybe if we’d lived in the same town we would have been a couple or maybe just best friends. I’ll never know. In the end none of it matters because when it’s not right for one person there’s nothing you can do about it.

It might be that you have extremely differing opinions on significant things. Does that mean there’s no future? Other times you might find you’re not in the right place to be dating. Maybe you’re hurting, jaded, tired or have too much going on in your life.

Ditch the Apps

I was once told “It’s better to be stuck on a shelf than locked in a cupboard”.

In other words it’s better to be single for a while than trapped with the wrong person.

If you need a break from online dating for a while then take that break. I did it for different reasons.

hipster changeDelete the apps from your phone, watch some television or catch up with your friends. It’s okay to take a break and it’s better than damaging your instincts and ending up with a psycho or a hipster… What could be worse?

If you have had an experience like this then let me know in the comments section or via my Facebook page or Twitter page. Or maybe you can tell me what is worse than a hipster, you’ll need a convincing argument though. Surely they’re the pits?

N is for Not Right

online datingIf you’ve missed any of my stories take a look in the categories section for A-Z Online Dating. Make sure you catch up on  Stallion Stan first here the next post on him is coming soon.

Sometimes the Situation Isn’t Right

The guy/woman isn’t right for you and you’re not right for them. Generally when this decision has been made by either you or the person you’re dating nothing can be done to change it.

If people have told you you’re not right for them, especially if you can’t see the point they’re making then you may be left wondering what the “real” reason for what’s going on is. You may try and change yourself so you can be what they want. I know I did.

But don’t, well, kind of don’t. No one is perfect and there should always be a little willing to reduce the arsehole parts of yourself or compromise and understand that some behaviours and habits are unnecessary when you’ve got an additional focus in your life.

If someone doesn’t want to continue dating you because you’re a bit tubby and they only date skinny potentials then they’re  not right one for you. Maybe they will only go on a third date if you always pay for everything, including the most expensive meals and presents. Yet they have no intention in treating you then stop and ditch! If you’re looking for long term and it’s starting like this then what’s it going to be like in two months or six months’ time? Respect goes both ways.

I Don’t Want to Destroy Someone

My aim when I was looking for a long term someone wasn’t to find any old person irrespective of how they treated me. I didn’t want to crush the soul of another person so we don’t have to be alone on Saturday night. I’m hoping that’s worked out, sometimes my boyfriend’s soul seems a bit crushed though…

Not right too shortThere might be other reasons that we couldn’t change if we wanted to. Between my friends we’ve heard a lot of these reasons; too tall, too short, too stupid, too religious, too easy, not experienced enough or worse no reason at all. We’re left making up our own reasons, which is never good.

Introducing Phil Dew

My story of such idiocy involved Phil Dew. Initially his dating tactics were pretty annoying. He’d message me repeatedly over several hours just to get one reply. It sounds a bit creepy in black and white but I realised early on it was for different reasons. Phil was pretty inexperienced and hadn’t learnt to play it cool. The man was filled with an enthusiasm he was desperate to share. Friends suggested I should ignore him and his weirdness but I couldn’t, there was something endearing about him.

Eventually he coaxed out my well-hidden silly side. It was time, care and support that I’d never experienced before.

Quickly I saw that although we lived ninety miles away with completely different backgrounds and experiences we had a lot in common. We constantly made each other laugh and seemed to have one of those freaky brain connections that meant we understood each other without explanation, even when no one else had a clue. Phil just had to mention a random character from an eighties film and I knew exactly who he was talking about and everything about the movie. We talked to each other all day every day and never ran out of conversation. If it wasn’t a voice message or text it was a random photo that left each other chuckling. We constantly tried to outdo each other in humour, although frequently he won. I’d never met anyone like him.

“The One”?

I’ve never believed in “the one” but for a millisecond I thought maybe true love did exist and I’d found mine. At the very least I’d found a friend for life in each other.

There were still moments where things went wrong. One day Phil texted me a photo of an event he was at. I pointed out the freaky looking woman at the edge of the picture. I thought Phil was joking when he said it was his mum.

He wasn’t.

There were also the nights he drunk called me but had to pause while he vomited in a bush before insisting that I tell him how much I liked him. This was usually followed by him oversharing with how much he fancied me. Even in these and many more awkward moments time spent speaking to him brought me a joy that I’d thought was impossible. I was nervously excited for our first date.

But before the date even happened Phil Dew told me that he couldn’t go through with it even though he liked me a lot. A long distance relationship wasn’t something he could do.

Not right cryingI was devastated

“We haven’t even given ourselves enough of a chance, we haven’t even met. It’s only an hour and a half drive, at the most,” I ranted to my housemate. But to Phil it was like we were on different continents.

I was too upset to speak to him but eventually he won me over.

Phil: I know you must hate me right now, I’m upset too.

Phil: The day isn’t right if I don’t get to hear from you.

So I came up with a new tactic. I thought eventually I could convince Phil he was wrong because he obviously liked me and we got on really well. Surely the distance couldn’t be that much of a problem? And so began one of the most clueless portions of my life.

To be continued…

Please tell me if you’ve been given a crap reason for being ditched and what your reaction was in the comments section or via my Facebook page or Twitter page. And if you want me to answer any questions in my blog please drop me a message.

United in Love Charity Anthology

New Release and It’s For Charity

When Lucy Felthouse sent out the submission call for this charity anthology I knew I had to be involved. It has been put together to benefit the British Red Cross’s UK Solidarity Fund.

United in Love charity anthologyMany fantastic authors have contributed to this anthology.  Each of the characters in the short stories are dealing with horrific and heartbreaking situations—loss, grief, war, divorce, dementia, disputes over land and more, but what they all have in common is that, with the help of love, of unity, they come through. It may not be all happily-ever-after—since life just doesn’t work that way—but positivity and solidarity shine through in each of the tales and will warm your heart.

Charity has and always will be a massive part of my life and being able to use my love of writing for the benefit of others was something I never thought possible. So please enjoy my story, Forget Me Not, and remember every penny will go to the British Red Cross’s Solidarity Fund.

Forget Me Not

My story, Forget Me Not, features  Sadie and her nana, Martha. Sadie’s heart is broken, she’s had to watch her close friend, her grandma, deteriorate day by day due to dementia. On the last night Martha goes wandering Sadie finds her being looked after by George, the only person that has brought light to her life over the last soul destroying months. But will this be the last time Sadie has reason to see him? Are her feelings more than just gratitude? And how will she cope without this light in her life?

You’ll have to read the story to find out but first enjoy an excerpt.

 

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An Excerpt

Forget Me Not charity anthology United in LoveIt was a declaration unlike any she’d heard before. “A date?” she said. “Isn’t that what this is?” He grinned in a wicked way that made her want to pull at his T-shirt and cover him in kisses. “Except, I need to check something before I’m willing to agree to anything.”

“Are we back to my balls again? Because I’m not used to whipping them out willy-nilly.”

She clasped a hand over her mouth to force her giggle back down. “No, you sod.” She launched herself at him, then planted a kiss on his lips.

What started as a soft meeting of mouths developed into a frenzied joining, their noses bumping haphazardly. George tilted his head to the side, bringing skilful calm to their kiss. As his tongue eased her lips apart she was aware of his hands, sliding slowly from the curve of her hips, up her body, finally coming to rest at the nape of her neck, tickling the sensitive hairs.

It wasn’t the perfect kiss—if such a thing existed—but the nervous caress of two people learning each other’s preferences. His tongue did an unusual dance in her mouth. Sadie pulled away and looked at him suspiciously.

“Sorry,” he said, his face creased with anxiety. “It’s been a while.”

There would be time to ask about his past. Sadie smiled her encouragement before dipping her head, nearing his mouth, but stopping short of letting the kiss take over. With a smile she recreated the move, grinning when he furrowed his brow and growled his frustration.

George’s fingers bunched in her blonde hair, pulling her against him so his lips could close in on hers.

Make a Date: the Good

Good Date?

In my last couple of posts I’ve talked about some bad date experiences but this one is different. Strap yourself in, it’s time you heard about Stallion Stan.

Stallion Stan

Stan was one of those guys where everything started off well. We chatted for a couple of day’s online then swapped numbers and continued our conversations via text. We spoke on the phone before we met, it was like talking with a friend instead of an awkward chat with a guy I’d never met. Stan had me in giggles and effortless smiles. The perfect version of funny and ridiculously cute, which happens to be my type.

flirt dateWhen the conversations got too sexual he’d rein them in but in an inquisitive and controlled way. He wanted to talk about fantasies and preferences but was also looking for something more long term than a bit of sexting fun.

We shared a lot of baggage before we met, which did a lot for bringing those fences down. Stan had some massive baggage, he was a former alcoholic, still living with his parents, his ex-girlfriend had cheated on him and he was struggling work wise due to his past. But he was nearing the career he’d been working towards. I was grateful for his honesty.

And I liked him.

We were both nervous before we met, wondering if when we stood in front of each other we’d find each other physically attractive. We’d got on really well so far.

Surely something had to go wrong?

The Day had Arrived

Finally the day of the date came. We were going to meet for lunch and see what would happen from there. Stan was adamant we’d spend all afternoon together, I was a little more reluctant, not making any promises in case I couldn’t keep them.

Nervous smiles were obvious when we first came face to face. My butterflies were already zipping around my belly. His third question was “What do you think about me?” Apparently he didn’t always get brilliant reactions. I couldn’t understand why. He was gorgeous. He reminded me of Chris Stark from the Scott Mills Show.

first date datesOur lunch was full of laughs and flirty, teasing smiles. Stan questioned if he had any competition for me and I couldn’t help but blush in response, no one had ever wanted to compete for me before.!

It turned out his prediction had been right about the date. After lunch we went for a semi-romantic stroll in the cold winter air, ending at a secluded stone line bandstand on the edge of a park.

That was the day I learnt I could happily kiss him for hours. Legs went numb, bottoms became as hard as the cold stone we sat on but the heat between us blazed.

It was the sort of kissing that erotic romances are based on.

Hands readily touched wherever they could get and on the whole they kept to the decent places. It was pretty cold for stripping in public which was probably for the best because we couldn’t get enough of each other. first date good dateOccasionally someone would walk near to our hiding spot and we’d break apart like horny teenagers caught making out behind the bike sheds. The afternoon we spent together in the park was filled with giggles, chatting, sweet yet lust filled kisses and stolen intimate touches.

It was a special date, a first date that made all the crap ones fade into insignificance.

Eventually we said our reluctant goodbyes. The date could have gone on for hours more. But I knew every kiss was giving me heady sensations and I might have problems being responsible for my actions.

I drove home joyous, touching my lips with my fingertips filled with fond memories and wondering what would happen next.

So..?

You’ll have to wonder what happened next, for now. As I said in a previous post first dates can become a game changer, making it hard to pick up your slovenly broken bodies and hearts and fake a smile every time you face a new one. But the good ones, the dates that leave you grinning as you try to sleep, make all the shit worthwhile and bring happiness and hope.

So don’t give up just yet. After all, as I was once told, you could be about to go on your “last first date”.

Please tell me your good, bad and ugly first date stories either in the comments section or via my Facebook page or Twitter page. And if you want me to answer any questions in my blog please drop me a message.

Symphony Amore: Erotic Stories of Love and Music

Symphony AmoreSymphony Amore, A New Anthology

In less than a week Symphony Amore will be released and I can’t wait. The anthology of erotic stories features my short story, Beautiful Destruction.

I am unnecessarily excited for a couple of reasons that I am willing to share. But you will have to come closer if you want to hear them. Are you ready?

  • I’ve never had a published story available in paperback, until now. That’s right you can buy Symphony Amore in paperback. See the buy links below.
  • It’s set in a club with a stunning DJ on a night where anything can happen.
  • My editor, who I don’t pay enough, said it was one of the best stories I’d written.
  • It’s my first lesbian tale. It’s not my last though, I was working on another one this morning.
  • I’m featured in several anthologies this year, this is the first to be released.

I wrote this story, which isn’t based on the exploits of my housemate who demanded to “proof” read it in case, because I love music and especially dancing in clubs. There is something erotic and heady about the mesmeric beats and mystery in the darkness of a club. I have memories from nights out, including being personally welcomed by the DJ when I walked into the club with the words, “You’re back! Will you come to my birthday party?” to the night I was motorboated by a stranger whose face I wouldn’t recognise if I saw it again.

But this story isn’t about my experiences it’s about Mila’s and what happens the night she hears her favourite song.

Will she be healed from the last six months of sadness?

Will she meet the creator of the song that has held huge significance in her life?

And what will happen when she comes face to face with the sexy yet mysterious DJ?

Symphony Amore

Find out More…

You’ll have to read the story to find out but first enjoy a teasing excerpt.

Symphony Amore is published by Sexy Little Pages and has been edited by the fantastic Jordan Monroe. The collection of nine stories, released on 19th September, features a broad spectrum of musicians from all sections of the orchestra and beyond. Immerse yourself in tale of conductors and concert-goers, romantic encounters and hard-hitting BDSM play, and embrace the diverse cast that you’ll meet.

Music truly is the universal language and these stories will give you hours of reading pleasure.

♥️ Buy now: Kindle or PaperbackSmashwords, or iTunes. ♥️

Teasing Excerpt

Occasionally, stringed instruments would raise their presence through the tune, demanding to be heard before being replaced by the punch of a drum. Each instrument garnered a different response and Mila felt herself bending seductively before bouncing to a climbing rhythm. In everything, her eyes never left the booth. She was performing before the musical creator, offering herself as a sacrifice to the DJ god.

Hands in the air, she gave all her body had left. Sweat dripped down her collarbone and beneath the silk of her grey t-shirt but it went ignored. Her thighs felt clammy beneath her leather skirt but it didn’t stop her writhing hips. Temporarily, she was conscious of a dampness higher than her thighs, covering her black thong, joining with the pulsating that manipulated her core. Nothing could satisfy this fire that burned inside her.

The strings rose once more and she realised she’d heard them before. It was one of the songs the string quartet had been asked to play at the wedding, the one they’d been tuning up for during the argument with Harriet.

Fuck, she needed to get out of there.