I can’t tell you how much I love this book. Head Over Feels is a contemporary romance with humour and mouth-watering sex. But why do I love it so much?
Is it because it’s my debut novel? That’s right I’ve never released a novel before. You may have read my short stories or purchased my anthologies, but this is my novel, and no matter what happens next with my writing, this was my first. You never forget your first.
Because I’ve been writing Head Over Feels for years? It took me six months to write the first draft and then four years to develop, edit, and perfect. I’ve cried over this story, screamed at it, and improved my writing skills along the way. If not for incredible Twitter writers like Stefanie Simpson and Sarah Smith, who held my hand and helped me believe, I wouldn’t have got this far.
It’s about rugby and is unapologetically British. I’ve read excellent sports romance books before. There are racy ones about ice hockey by Helena Hunting, novels focusing on American football and horse racing but rugby union is rare. From the first match I attended I’ve loved rugby. The power and strength emanating from the players are palpable. They are at their peak, in a dangerous battle that could destroy their bodies as they fight for survival. And for those who don’t know, rugby is as sexy as hell. And the British thing? It features the seaside, a curry house filled with lads on stag weekends and a very English cathedral. What more could you want?
The start is inspired by an evening I’ll never forget; the night I met a rugby playing artist. Little did I know that one cold evening in Winter the hot guy flirting with me as I offered him a canapé was a national rugby player. Sadly, there was no illicit romance in the cathedral’s cloisters, and the rugby player in my story bears no resemblance to the man I met, but that one night inspired something significant.
It displays that real life gets in the way of romance. My years of online dating showed me how much baggage people have. While I never met anyone with a medical history or grief like Aidan’s, I have met people who are temporarily damaged because of friends and ex-partners. I know what it’s like to date when you have secrets that you’re scared to share, and I brought that fear and vulnerability into this book.
Best of all, the sex in Head Over Feels is hot and plentiful.
Want to find out for yourself?
Head Over Feels comes out on Friday 12th February. Whether you need something to perk you up during the pandemic or the six nations has inspired you to read about hot rugby guys, or you want a man you can rely on to please you at Valentine’s make sure you download a story you’ve never read before.
You can pre-order the e-book here or wait until 12th February for the paperback.
Here’s an excerpt where Sophia and Aidan meet for the second time in his swimming pool. Is Aidan really who he seems and what is scaring Sophia about taking the plunge?
An Excerpt from Head Over Feels
She’s here. Aidan’s eyes stung with chlorine, and his deep breaths hurt his chest, but still, he sensed her.
It was as if the heat from her stare seared his flesh, even as the cold water created a protective layer around his body. I haven’t swum this hard in years. But he wanted to show her how well he performed. When her eyes fluttered closed at night, he had to be the man she dreamt of.
His confidence faltered as he noticed she was leaving. Was she disappointed? Aidan wasn’t a big rugby player, but he was strong and muscular, and women adored his agile form.
“Wait!” he shouted, water rushed into his mouth, the ensuing coughs hiding the desperation in his voice. The waterline peaked above his pecs as he stood on the tiles of the bottom of the pool. Droplets of water trickled off his shoulders before joining the rest of the pool with a drip-drip noise. Sophia stopped, her shoulders sagging.
His pulse raced as she turned. He’d memorised everything about her and yet now she was finally in front of him, she took his breath away. Aidan’s gaze followed her curves, pausing at the hips he remembered holding, his hands twitched in anticipation. With deep sighs, Sophia’s breasts moved slowly up and down. The familiar sensation of his jolting cock stole blood from his brain.
“Why were you were leaving?”
Sophia faltered. Her gaze flitted around the room, looking at everything but him.
“I didn’t want to disturb you, I mean, disturb your swimming,” she said quickly.
“You weren’t disturbing anything.” His palms went to the edge of the pool directly in front of her feet. He fixed her with a stare as he pulled himself up and out, but her face reddened, and she quickly broke eye contact. Water slid down his naked body. He stood in front of her, not close enough to touch. His muscles continued to burn from the swim, but they competed for his attention against his growing erection.
Her eyes struggled to meet his. They repeatedly dipped, trying to see more of his body, almost as if controlled by an unwavering force. He grinned when her eyes finally lingered on his. He hoped she wanted him as much as he wanted her.
“You look tired. Didn’t you sleep well last night?” Aidan asked, causing Sophia to flinch. He’d hit a nerve.
“Aren’t you cold? Maybe you should get dressed,” she replied.
“I can’t get naked in front of you.” He stated. Her dark brown eyes widened. He caught her looking at his crotch before looking away. Aidan nearly pumped his fist triumphantly into the air.
They stared wordlessly at each other. Sophia’s teeth tugged at her plump lower lip, which made him craved a kiss from her. Would she taste sweet? How would the rest of her taste? Sophia was a mystery he was aching to uncover.
His old Irish team swim shorts couldn’t hide his erection much longer. The green material clung to his thighs. They were roomy, but soon he’d be straining if she carried on staring at him like that.
“Don’t you have a towel you could put on? You might get cold or something?” Sophia responded hesitantly, fiddling with her blouse, pulling the bottom of it down. All she succeeded in doing was pulling it tighter against her breasts and giving him a view that made his body hum.
“There’s one over there.” A lone finger casually pointed to the corner of the room, eyes never leaving hers. “You can get it for me seeing as you’re concerned.”
Golden flecks appeared to crackle inside her eyes.
“I couldn’t care less to be honest,” she replied with a cheeky smile. “But I thought that you’d want to give your best performance tomorrow, seeing as you’re playing Bath. Aren’t the Bulls and Bath meant to be massive rivals?”
“Did you Google me?” She rolled her eyes, but the grin didn’t waver. “I’m flattered you’re so concerned about my “performance”.”
She huffed at him but continued to stand her ground. He stepped closer, and she met him head-on.
Lights flashed across the dancefloor as bodies moved against each other. The scent of sweat and sweet shots surrounded me as I danced with my flatmates to the latest Calvin Harris beats on a beer-soaked dancefloor. I’d not drank alcohol since George had left that afternoon, wanting to have a clear head. Instead, I attempted to forget him by dancing until everything hurt. I wanted my brain to stop. The one positive was that the moment with George on the sofa had put an end to Jamie’s advances, but at what cost? I hadn’t heard from George since he left the flat. Maybe Adele had invited him partying? Or he was avoiding me and what happened.
Had the interview gone well? George would have smashed it. Although I was full of hope for him, I couldn’t ignore the thing that hurt my heart and made me want to dance until I couldn’t feel anymore. Had I lost my best friend?
I let the beat thread through my limbs as I closed my eyes and let go. But every couple of seconds I opened my eyes and searched for his face in the crowd. Occasionally a hand touched my shoulder, and I’d twist, hoping to see his smile, and each time disappointment hit my gut as I came face to face with a stranger. The couples flirting within my eye line were a reminder of what we could have if we both felt the same way. Why had I waited so long to get to this place? What if it was one-sided? Were his reactions the result of hornyness that he’d now worked out of his system with a stranger?
I let all the questions out with a sigh and writhed my hips to the song. George had helped me recognise how sexy I was. Even if that knowledge was all I got from today, then it was a win. Sweat beaded my chest and slowly dripped down beneath the black satin slip dress I’d borrowed from my flatmate, Minnie. It was indecent, and I was so hot that it stuck to my skin. My feet would hurt in the morning, but I didn’t care, I was a fucking goddess in it, especially as I’d partnered it with sky-high black heels. The dress hit at the top of my thighs giving me legs that “went on for miles”. I ran my hands through my shoulder-length hair, closed my eyes and let go. The beat consumed me.
“That guy,” a shout that was as quiet as a whisper in my ear came from Minnie.
“Huh?” I asked, struggling out of my disorientated state.
“There’s a guy over there, near the bar. I can’t see his face properly, but I swear he’s staring over here at you,” she shouted. “He’s been looking for like five minutes.”
I squinted at where she was pointing, but I couldn’t see past the group to my right. It looked like some rugby players were out, even in my heels they eclipsed my view.
“Oh shit, he’s coming over.” She shimmied by my side. I’d made her promise that she wouldn’t let any guys try it on with me. I wasn’t in the mood tonight.
Suddenly it was as if the crowds parted to let him through.
“Oh my God,” she screamed in my ear. “It’s that radio presenter George Webster. I’m not standing in his way. Grace, you’d be lucky to have him.”
I knew he must have seen my Instagram. I’d unashamedly posted a picture of Minnie and me taken from the ladies toilets. I’d accompanied the photo with a tag to hint where we were dancing with the hope of baiting him. Minnie had called it a thirst trap because I was trying to get his attention with my sexy outfit. I couldn’t argue I’d posted it only with him in mind.
He nodded a hello at Minnie as he bent down and growled in my ear. “I hoped I’d find you here.”
A beaming grin hit my face. I didn’t want to play it cool with George anymore. “How did the interview go?”
“It was amazing. Adele divulged things she always used to refuse to talk about in interviews before. My boss said it was the best interview I’ve ever done. Today all my dreams came true.”
I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him hard, grateful he was still bent low. “I’m so happy for you.” He lifted me in the air and spun me around, making me giggle in delight. By the time he popped me back down on the floor on my wobbly heels, I was breathless. Being so close to him, his heat against me had left me more flushed than I’d expected.
“I think I just showed my knickers to the club,” I said through giggles.
“Lucky club,” he joked. “I was wondering if we could chat later.”
I nodded as the sweat on my chest trickled down underneath the front of my dress. I swore George watched the bead travel. He stared at my breasts as if he could see beneath the satin. “No, bra?” he mouthed.
I shook my head as wetness collected in my knickers.
He smiled broadly and started to dance with our group. We were surrounded by people but only looked at each other. What was he going to say? Couldn’t we have our chat now?
We fell into his flat, my heels hanging off my finger. The sun was coming up as he softly closed the front door. My housemates had gone back to the flat, but somehow we’d ended up at his apartment. I couldn’t sleep even if I wanted to. It was time for the chat.
He took my hand and led me over to the sofa. His hand was warm, and my nerves fell away. I was with my best friend now, and whatever we said we had each other’s best interests at heart.
I dropped my shoes to the floor and tucked my legs beneath me, revealing my knickers in the process. George watched with an upturned mouth and raised eyebrows, but he didn’t comment. I sat against the soft leather facing him. With his long legs, he wasn’t going to tuck his under, but he looked at me anyway. There must have been a window open somewhere because the tweeting of the dawn chorus carried on a slight breeze.
“What’s going on, Grace,” he asked. “Was tonight about pretending to be your boyfriend again, or is there something going on between us. You’re my best friend, and that is important to me.”
“It’s important to me too,” I said so quietly that my voice was barely a whisper. “Tonight wasn’t about pretending to be anything. I’ve loved you as my best friend since we were kids, but something changed recently. I don’t understand it, and I’m scared of losing our friendship over a mistake.”
“Was earlier a mistake for you?” He furrowed his brow, and I fought my need to run my thumb across it and ease his confusion.
“No, it was one of the hottest moments of my life,” I confessed. In our twelve years together, I’d never felt like that with Brian. I’d been desperate for George to kiss me all night, but instead, he’d laughed with my friends, taken photos with fans in the club and danced until dawn. He’d stayed by my side all night. He was the same George who at our friend’s wedding had listened to my problems and taken care of me.
“Mine too,” he confessed.
I scooted closer. “But you’ve slept with so many women. You’ve met all kinds of celebrities who must have given you their number. Remember that one who wanted you to call her. The one that was in that American girl group; The Kitty Cats.”
He laughed and shrugged. “Yes, but thankfully nothing came of that. Grace, I think there’s something you should know.” He took my hands between his. They were rough from his workouts. The familiarity of being held by him was significant. It felt like home. “I’ve fancied you since we were twelve.”
“What?” I held his hands tighter. I thought back to the gangly teenage boy who took a while to grow into his body. At first, he was all limbs without any control over them. He used his humour to stop the bullies, and with that same humour, he’d transformed into a star on the radio.
“It was a teenage crush, at first. But then as we grew up, it turned into more. Do you remember when we played Truth or Dare, and we had to kiss?”
“Vividly. I can’t believe I vomited on your shoes.”
He smiled shyly. “I thought that would be my chance to make you fall for me.” He pinned me with his eyes, and my heart beat faster as he revealed a new side. His honesty made him vulnerable, and I didn’t dare look away.
I inched closer, encouraging him to open his heart to me. “And I ruined it.”
His laugh was brief but sincere. “Yeah. But I decided then it was time to let you go and live your life. I wanted you to go to university and work towards your plan. Then during uni or if I could wait, graduation, I would tell you how I felt and see what you thought. I wanted the opportunity to get over my crush too, but I wondered if we had a chance.”
“Is that why you told me to screw around instead of study all the time?” Even after hours of dancing, I could smell his aftershave. I breathed in the vanilla and grapefruit scent. It was the same smell that had been on his pillow the other night. It was like breathing our shared past. “Hold on. I recall you were screwing around a lot at university too.”
“But I wanted you to see the world. I knew your plan was important to you, but I didn’t want you to miss out either. And I wasn’t having as much sex as you thought. Don’t get me wrong, I was no innocent, and I have had a lot since.” My wide-eyed stare at the conversation made him hesitate. “Not that you need to know the details. Anyway, one night during our first year, I decided I couldn’t wait any longer. I was on the train from London to Birmingham, and I got the message that you’d met someone called Brian, and you thought he might be the one to fit with your plan.”
I dropped my head with embarrassment. Was that the reason I’d started dating Brian?
George tucked a finger under my chin and lifted my face to meet his eyes. “It’s okay. I didn’t know how you felt about me, let alone how you’d feel knowing that I’d been hiding this from you after all this time. What if you thought our friendship was a lie?”
“No, I cared about you first and foremost as a friend. I hoped my the crush would fade. When you started going out with Brian, I resigned myself to you and him forever.” His Adam’s apple bobbed with every nervy swallow.
“And did it fade?” My breath caught in my throat.
“Yes.” I attempted to stop my shoulders from slumping. “Instead, I fell in love with you.”
“But I don’t expect you to feel the same. I just needed you to know. I couldn’t keep this in any longer. But no matter what you think or feel this friendship is still the most important thing in my life. I never want to lose that. But I need to know what was going on earlier when we kissed. That wasn’t a pretend boyfriend kiss.”
“All my life I’ve been following this plan and I wonder if somewhere along the line I forgot to enjoy life. The times we spent together when we were younger brought me joy. I remember going to parties, listening to hours and hours of music in your room and even volunteering at that retirement home. You were the one I could share my true self with. I knew you wouldn’t judge me. But I got caught up in the plan and I started a relationship with a man I’m not sure I ever loved. I believed that if I just stuck to the plan, I’d be happy.”
“And what made you the happiest?”
“You, always you. Wherever you were, I was happy. But the sexual thing? I don’t know where that came from. Maybe when I reset my life and started at university, I found something that was missing. I found me, and that version of me, the real me, wanted you. I want you for as long as this works.”
Sunshine poured through the window. When George went to university, I’d bought him a prism suncatcher that when he stuck to his window and the sun shone rainbows would fly around his room. He’d kept it all this time and hung it in his fancy London apartment. Rainbows covered the walls around us. It was a symbol of hope. But did I dare let myself believe we had a future? We had an incredible past, and maybe it could happen.
He stared back at me. The grey of his eyes left me mesmerised. “Are you sure this isn’t because Jamie rejected you tonight? I saw him kissing another “MILF”,” he teased.
I punched him in the shoulder as I pouted.
He quickly cupped my face and drew me to him. I leaned close as his lips met mine. The kiss was different from earlier. It was hot as hell but tender too. He tasted of sweet strawberry shots. I closed my eyes, and my hands travelled up to his face as he took the kiss deeper. George’s eyelashes fluttered against my skin; they were like little butterflies. My heart beat so fast that I wasn’t sure if his heart had merged with mine to create a frenetic beat. I eased his mouth open with my tongue and explored. His scent in my lungs and his hands against my skin felt right, and we kissed like two people who had been waiting a lifetime to share a caress.
Eventually, we pulled back at the same time as if synchronised. The smile on his face melted any trace of worry in my heart.
“We’re really doing this then?” he asked, his vulnerability clear when the question slipped from his lips.
“I can’t believe we waited so long,” I replied with a grin so wide I knew my face would hurt in the morning. Shit, it was already morning.
I took his hand and led him to the bedroom. He may have been a giant compared to me, but I knew I could lead him anywhere I wanted.
“Give me a moment? I need to go to the bathroom,” I said simply. With any other guy, I would have been too anxious to admit I needed the loo halfway through foreplay. But not with George. Doing it with a best friend made it easier.
“Ah, the old Gracie bladder,” he joked. “Just hurry, I want you back as soon as possible. It’s time I gave you my best.”
“As long as it includes you deep inside me, I’ll be happy,” I replied swiftly. George swallowed noisily, and I delighted in my ability to turn him on with a phrase.
I left the bathroom and found him sat on the bed in his boxers.
“I wanted to undress you,” I teased as I stepped closer and stood between his legs. I ran my hands across his chest. He was so broad now. My fingertips trailed a line across his pecs and down his abs. He tightened his stomach as I got lower and a sigh caught in my throat. He was beautiful.
His hands stroked the back of my thighs as they travelled towards my bum. “Next time you can do what you want with me, but I’ve been waiting for this moment for a very long time, and I don’t want my clothes to get in the way.” He stared up at me in awe. The heat between my legs burned as he reached up to my knickers and dragged them down my legs.
I stepped out gracefully before his hands moved up again. “I do have one question.” His voice vibrated through me. “Why do you keep wearing things that I get the urge to undo?”
I laughed; he had a point. The dress had a ribbon back. Our moment with my dressing gown belt had been on my mind when Minnie showed the dress. I turned to give him access to the ribbon, lifting my hair and holding it out of his way. His fingertips brushed my skin, heating it with his touch. The end of the ribbon skimmed my lower back, and he made a point of stroking me there as he undid it. My skin tingled as he ran his fingers across it.
The dress fell to the floor. He feathered kissed across my hips and gave my bum a little bite. I glared at him over my shoulder, but I was immediately transfixed by the way his pupils had dilated, and his mouth fell open. “Fucking hell. How did I get this lucky?”
“Before I turn, I just want to warn you that I don’t always love my body. I’ve worried for years that my breasts are too big, considering I’m only five foot.”
He choked. “They can’t be too big for me. Don’t forget I am a big guy and they won’t be bigger than my hands. Also, what the fuck, Grace? I’m pretty sure my mouth was on them earlier.”
I laughed and gave him a wink.
His laugh was strangled. “Now stop trying to distract me and show me your tits.”
“I’ve never heard you say tits before.”
“I’ve never heard you say tits either.” The way he said it brought a jolt of need to my belly. How dirty could he be? He was blessed with a voice that could make me do all sorts just to hear it say my name. He licked closer and closer to my nipple, drawing out the tension and groaning as he pleasured me. His hand slipped down to between my legs. It was like our moment in Grand Central but a billion times hotter.
George stroked the inside of my thighs just beneath my pussy. Each moment was a tease that ramped up the anticipation. Maybe it was payback for the years he’d imagined this. Wetness pooled between my legs, but it didn’t make him move any faster.
“Please, George,” I moaned. If anything, it made him move slower.
I looked down and watched the tip of his tongue circle my nipple. Arousal coursed through my blood, pushing me higher. My legs trembled, and a whimper left my mouth, surprising both of us. He smiled up at me, a fire in his eyes before dropping his head back to my breast.
I was drowsy with desire, and when I thought I couldn’t take anymore his thumb slid across my clit, and his lips brushed my nipple. It sent a spark of electricity right back to my pussy. I shoved my fingers through his hair, pulling at the strands as he stroked me higher. He thrust one then two fingers quickly inside me, his mouth never leaving my breasts.
I swore he was learning what made me cry out the loudest as he licked and sucked my breasts and pumped his fingers inside me while thumbing my clit. Maybe pressing all the buttons at the station had improved his dexterity. I squeezed my thighs to make him move faster and wiggled my hips to force his fingers deeper.
He had me close already, it had been building all day, and it wasn’t going to take much more to push me over the edge. Cool air replaced his mouth as my breast slipped from his mouth.
I groaned with displeasure.
The reprimanding look he gave in return sent my pulse racing. I wanted everything he had to give me. I closed my eyes to accept the waves of pleasure from his fingers, but his deep timbre caught my attention.
“I’ve got a lot of fantasies about your body that we need to make real. I’m not going to stop making you cum for hours. I can’t wait to have my tongue inside you,” he said licking his thumb before returning it to run circles around my clit.
He sucked on my nipples and thrust his fingers back inside me, building me higher. The pressure radiated from my pussy and my limbs quivered as I teetered on the edge. As if coaxing me to orgasm he fingered me quicker. The pressure was too much and I threw my head back not wanting the moment to end yet desperate to climax. The noises of my soaking pussy would have freaked me out with Brian, but with George, I loved how dirty and decadent I was. I couldn’t wait to see his come face. There was so much I needed to do with him. The idea of all the different ways we would fuck overwhelmed me.
Did he sense this? Suddenly he pushed deep and bit my nipple. At the intensity of the pleasure and pain, I came on his fingers. I screamed his name as my legs shook around his hand. He held me against him until I was sure I wasn’t going to fall, and then he lifted me and pulled me onto his body. I hadn’t considered this benefit of our height difference; he could take me where he wanted me. I knew I held the power, though. He wouldn’t push me too far, and I was confident enough to speak up if I wanted something different. He was my best friend, and my trust for him overwhelmed me.
“Can you ride me like earlier?” he asked frantically.
With one movement, I yanked down his boxers and palmed his cock.
“You are Big G!” I squealed with a mixture of excitement and nervousness. Would I be able to take all of him?
“I’ll be gentle. Take what you can manage,” George said, reading my mind.
It was the challenge I needed. I was not going to be a precious flower. I’d dreamt about George inside me all week, and I wasn’t going to stop until he was as deep as possible.
I continued to palm him, delighting in the way his face twisted with urgency. He jerked in my hand. This man had wanted me for years, and yet I was the one in control, I’d never felt so much power.
I knew he was clean. He’d insisted on taking me to the sexual health clinic before university started, just in case I got carried away with anyone when drunk. I’d made him take the tests as well in solidarity. I was on the pill for the same reasons.
I reached into his bedside table and took out some fancy lube that I’d never seen before. I took my time in dripping it onto my hand before massaging his cock. It was like silk. His eyes rolled back in his head, and I bit my lip with satisfaction. I wanted to watch him come in my hand and feel him twitch in my mouth. I squeezed around the head of his cock, distracted.
“Grace! I want to be inside you.”
“Sorry.” I smiled as his cock jerked against my palm. He jokingly glared at me, before squeezing his eyes tightly together as if he was undergoing sexual torture. “You ready?” I asked with a wink. He was fun to tease.
He let out a strangled groan in response, and I straddled him. I pumped him one more time before slipping him inside me. The first inches were comfortable, but then I took him gradually further inside me. My hips attempted to grind before I was ready. What was with my body? It was desperate for him.
We panted in unison until finally he was buried deep.
“Sit up,” I demanded.
“But won’t that hurt?”
“Sit the fuck up, George. I want to kiss you. We have spent our lives not kissing, and I want your mouth on mine as you cum inside me.” He didn’t argue again.
I held tightly onto his shoulders as I lifted myself before dropping back down. His skin burnt mine as I rode him hard. His chest chair rubbed and tickled my nipples. I wanted his lips on mine, but the zips of pleasure filling my body as he kissed my chest and neck had me moan as if I was trying to wake the apartment building. I rode him faster as he bit and sucked my neck, leaving his mark on my flesh. My thighs and butt got the best workout as I pumped my legs. He filled me completely, and I knew that he was filling me emotionally too. I didn’t care how soppy it sounded I knew it, and I knew I wanted to be with him beyond some mind-numbing fucks.
I was on the brink of orgasm. I pulled his head to mine and kissed him hard. Our tongues fought for control, as our bodies had battled. The urge to come fought against the need to experience an endless pleasure. I’d only longed for this for a week. He’d wanted this for years. Sweat dripped between our bodies, and as I had hold of his face, he gripped my arse, pulling me onto him again and again.
He squeezed my flesh hinting he was close. I knew my orgasm would rip through me and trigger his. Every thrust of my hips met a push of his pelvis, and soon his cock was hitting me deeper and deeper. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on tight. I kissed him with years of repressed thoughts as if we were eighteen again and dared to kiss in front of our mates.
He released me from the kiss to growl his own needs. “You’re so fucking sexy. I’ve wanted to fuck you for so long, but I never thought it would be this good. I’m so hard, and I just want to come inside you.” He kissed me again, his lips hitting mine before he eased them apart and massaged my tongue with his. I rode him hard, moaning in his mouth as his grip on my butt tightened. I squeezed my thighs and pressed myself against his chest as I bounced faster and faster refusing to break the kiss.
My whole body began to shake and it was as if arousal filled my veins. Suddenly my orgasm obliterated everything. It rushed through me and I pulled him close and cried into his mouth. He came too. His liquid shot inside me. Filling me just as his cock had. I rode it out, pumping softer and softer. I had a lot more planned for us and I didn’t want to break him.
Eventually, we collapsed on the bed, still holding each other tight. We were panting hard, and sweat dripping down our skin.
I whispered in his ear, “I don’t know what the plan is for the next thirty years, but I want to spend the next thirty hours doing that again and again.”
“We will, trust me. Hopefully, we’ll be doing it for the next thirty years too,” George replied breathlessly as he held me tightly.
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Don’t forget to read parts 1 and 2 first, you can find them here: Part 1 and Part 2
Friday lunchtime finally came. I’d made it through my first lectures, and in between downed a sickening amount of shots while partying with housemates. I’d made new friends too. Did I party this hard during my first time at university? There had been a lot of late night’s spent studying in the library and ensuring I followed the plan. Still, I couldn’t remember going out, nor drinking until my head exploded and there definitely weren’t guys pinning me against the wall as their kisses brushed my neck.
I was still horny, and I hadn’t heard from George apart from a couple of messages checking in on me. Although I hadn’t spoken to him on the phone, I’d listened to him every morning in my shower while getting myself off. His deep voice had caressed my skin as water had cascaded down my body. Every word he spoke made me ache between my thighs. My wetness had joined with the soapy water, and I’d stroked my clit as he’d talked about some inane topic or played a random quiz. No matter what he spoke about, his voice reached inside me as I’d moaned his name. Phone sex with him would probably kill me, not that we’d ever do that because we were just friends and couldn’t be more. How many times had I reminded myself of that this week?
I recalled the one kiss we’d had when we were seventeen. We were playing truth or dare, and Erin from our class, who’d never hidden how much she fancied him and was jealous of our closeness had dared us to kiss. I don’t know what she expected, maybe that he couldn’t go through with it because of our friendship? I would have noticed her disappointment, but his tongue was in my mouth. He was never one to ignore a dare. I was knee walking drunk and had followed up the kiss by vomiting on his shoes. We hadn’t repeated our moment after that. His reason being, “I only have two pairs of these trainers, and I don’t want them both ruined.”
There was another problem in my first week of university. My housemate, Jamie, had decided that he was going to bed me. He was attractive for an eighteen-year-old. But that was the problem – he was eighteen. Jamie repeatedly called me MILF. He thought he was cute, but I was ready to punch him or show him how good sex with a grown woman could be.
But then again, did I know?
I’d had some mediocre sex before university and then Brian. He was pleasant enough, and he knew his way around my body. But I’d never screamed. I’d never woken up knowing that I craved another fuck with him. He was as efficient in the bedroom as he was with a spreadsheet; he got the job done, but it was all about finishing, rather than the fun you could have on the way.
Since moving into halls, Jamie was always by my side, especially on our night’s out. Was he waiting for me to give him the nod? He’d be waiting a long time. My body wanted George, and it was getting harder to ignore it. I needed to fuck George out of my system with a random guy, but I didn’t want to become the legendary university MILF to do it, and I didn’t want anyone else anyway. Why was everything so complicated?
During my last lecture of the week; Performance Anxiety and Motivation, I considered the teenage kiss again, or rather George’s inability to say no to a dare. Should I dare him to go on a night out with my housemates? I could sell it as giving him fodder for his radio show and insight into his target audience.
I quickly tapped out a message to him and waited. His reply came in quick.
George: I’ll be at yours for lunch, and then I expect to have the craziest student night there is.
My face flushed bright enough to draw a furrowed brow from my lecturer. But I styled it out by pretending I’d lost my pen and then holding it aloft as if it was a prize. But how was I going to style out a visit from George? If only it were as simple as pretending I’d lost my pen. There was the other, more significant issue, too. We had a friendship that I couldn’t destroy for something as minor as a good fuck that I might be able to get somewhere else. I had to stop craving George or tonight could be the end of the most important relationship in my life.
What was I going to do?
“The thing is,” Jamie started as he thrust a hand through his quiff, “you’re hot as fuck, and I reckon you could teach me a lot. So what do you think? You could come to my room now if you want.”
I was standing in the communal area of our student apartment in just a fluffy dressing gown and a pair of my best knickers. George was due in the next hour, and I needed the time to make a lot of effort so I could look like someone who’d made none at all. Men had no idea what we women put ourselves through.
Jamie gave me a wink from the other side of the room. His back rested against the wall next to his bedroom door. All the bedrooms opened out onto the communal area I shared with two other females and three males. In the short time since we’d moved in, we’d affectionally named the space Grand Central. People were coming and going all the time. In two weeks, there had been more sex in this apartment than I’d had in the last couple of years with Brian. I’d walked in on a couple of pairs doing it on the edge of the kitchen sink on different afternoons. I was jealous, but not enough to go near Jamie.
“I’m alright, Jamie, but thank you for the offer,” I replied with a polite smile. His eyes lingered on me as I opened the fridge and reached for the bottle of wine I’d picked up after my lecture. I needed alcohol-fuelled courage to get me through today.
Jamie cleared his throat, and with a sigh, I turned back. I’d tried tough love. What else could I do? How many requests did he think it would take to convince me?
“You’ll change your mind. Already I’m one of the most wanted guys on campus. We’ve got a year together in this flat. One night you’re going to come home drunk and horny, there will be a knock at my door, and then we will have passionate sex,” he replied. Was I as confident at his age? I wasn’t even that confident now. There was nothing aggressive in the way he shared his tale of the future. It was more hopeful and had a hint of wistfulness.
“No, there won’t be, Jamie,” I replied sternly.
“Yes, there will be, my lovely MILF,” he smiled. I don’t think he realised how much of a dickhead he sounded. He believed it would happen. I couldn’t guarantee it wouldn’t if the level of arousal I was fighting was likely to continue. Imagine if I had come home last week? Thank goodness for George.
“Look there won’t be because, because,” I stuttered at his hopeful face. “Because I have a boyfriend already.”
“And this is the first time you mention it? I don’t believe you. I’ll continue to wait for that knock at my door, my sexy MILF.” He gave me one last smile before heading back into his bedroom.
“He’s coming round in a bit and partying with us tonight,” I shouted to his retreating body.
Why had I wanted to move into halls? I’d wanted to experience university life properly like I’d missed out on the first time. The staff had assured me I would be in an apartment with people nearer my age, but aside from a twenty-six-year-old woman, they were all either eighteen or nineteen.
I unscrewed the wine and took two long swigs, ignoring the nasty sharp taste. It was the cheapest in the off licence.
Maybe I should move, but that would be the whole first-semester rent gone as I’d paid upfront and I’d have to fork out more for somewhere else. There was no point worrying about it now. George was due in an hour. I ticked the jobs off on my finger.
But what was I going to wear? I took another swig hoping to clear my hangover and headed back to my room.
I froze in my doorway. That couldn’t be George; he was never early. But I couldn’t risk Jamie getting to him before I did. I daren’t imagine his face if Jamie asked if he was fucking the MILF.
I skidded across the lino to the front door and yanked it open. I swallowed noisily. George was in front of me in his night out best. A checked shirt that clung obscenely to his body, smart jeans and brown brogues brought an internal sigh of delight. He was handsome as well as hot, and my sex clenched immediately with expectation.
His gaze trawled from my head to my toes, pausing momentarily at where my dressing gown gaped at my chest. At the heat from his look, sweat beaded my neck.
“Wine already? Bad morning?” He smiled. I wasn’t sure how, but he immediately conveyed his unusual combination of shy cockiness. I heard it when he was on the radio, and face to face he was the same. George was cocky, and he charmed and amused everyone with his boy next door persona, but he had vulnerabilities too, and in groups of people, he often listened because he wasn’t sure what to say. He understood the impact of mental health struggles and had helped his brother through panic attacks brought on from PTSD. He’d been there for me during my most vulnerable moments; when I’d failed my first accountancy exam, when Brian’s parents had embarrassed me at a family party, and the night I found out my mum was having tests for cancer. I’d loved him like a best friend since I was fourteen, but this urge to have inside me while covering my body with kisses and pushing me to climax was different. Was it new or had it always been there, and I’d learnt to ignore it?
More importantly, how did he feel? Was I just Midge, best friend and like a sister. Everything had changed for me, but that didn’t mean it had for him.
“No. It’s not been a bad one,” I replied flustered, heat burning my cheeks when I remembered George’s question. “I, just, you’re early.”
“Yeah, well, it’s the weekend, isn’t it, and I don’t want to waste time faffing at home. Can I come in?” How was his hair bouncy after wearing headphones all morning? I wanted to touch it and run my hands through the strands, but friends didn’t do that. Instead, I beckoned him in and headed for the kettle. He always had a cup of tea around this time. It helped ease his energy after the rush from presenting his morning radio show. “Did I catch you doing something?”
I flushed again, grateful that with my back to him, he couldn’t see the guilty look on my face. I’d listened back to his show while playing with myself in the shower. It had been a great way to ring in my first proper weekend as a student, even if it left me with some conflicted feelings now that he was close.
“Just getting ready,” I replied with forced breeziness, relieved at how long it was taking the kettle to boil. The bubbles and sighs suggested it needed replacing, but I’d realised early on that risking a fire for the price of a kettle was what being a student was all about.
“What’s the plan for tonight?” George asked. The springs pinged from the direction of the sofa. I didn’t need to turn to know he’d sat on it. His hands probably rested at his knees. I wanted those hands on me, fisting through my hair as he kissed me. I imagined his body towering over mine in bed as his tongue slipped into my mouth. Would we fit together easily? He was nearly a foot and a half taller than me. ‘You’re the same height when you’re lying down’. I’d heard that once, but from who? My thoughts were a distracting jumble of ideas. “Grace. You okay?”
“Huh?” My unrelenting arousal was getting ridiculous. George was my friend, and that was all that mattered. I faked a smile and turned to face him. “Oh yes, a plan for tonight.”
Lots of things happened at once. Jamie’s door squeaked as the wine reacted with my empty stomach. The scream of the kettle sent me into a panic. Were they the catalyst for my desires or an excuse to kiss my friend? In a flash, I straddled George’s thighs. “You need to pretend to be my boyfriend.”
I made the most of his open mouth and kissed him as if my life depended on it. His mouth paused against mine, but any hesitation was brief as his hands stroked my naked thighs beneath my dressing gown. His kiss was hard and fast. I was hungry for him, and my moan echoed between us. His hands climbed higher as I started to grind against him. His cock swelled beneath me. The roughness of his jeans against my barely covered pussy was heavenly friction, and I twisted my hips harder.
A slam came from the direction of Jamie’s door, but we didn’t stop. His tongue massaged mine as he reached around and grabbed my butt cheeks. His fingers dug into my flesh as he pulled me against him. His cock may have been constricted by his jeans, but it rubbed against my clit in a way that had me desperate for more. Shit, I was kissing my best friend, and I wanted him to fuck me.
I pulled back needing to get my breath and my head together.
We sat panting, staring at each other as doors banged and mixtures of Drake and The Weekend played around us. I brushed my thumb across his lower lip while staring into his grey eyes. It was as if they were sparkling. It was the sexiest kiss of my life. I wanted more, but was he playing the part of my boyfriend as I’d asked? His cock was rock hard beneath me, but that couldn’t tell me what was in his heart.
“Well, that happened,” he finally said.
“And?” I said softly, desperately trying to keep hope out of my voice. But my body betrayed me, and I slipped my hand into his hair and ran my fingers through it. The scent of grapefruit seemed to settle between us. I touched his hair again and smiled. Now that I’d finally crossed a barrier, I couldn’t leave him alone.
He squeezed my arse cheek before moving his hands back to my thighs, beneath my dressing gown. His hands were hot against my flesh.
I knew everything there was to know about George and yet sat on the threadbare sofa his thumbs stroking my inner thighs I couldn’t work out what he’d say next. It could be a “we shouldn’t ruin our friendship”, “I don’t like you that way” or “take me to your bedroom” with anything else in between.
“And,” he replied the side of his mouth lifting in a half-smile.
The guy who made a living through his voice had gone quiet. The dirty beat of the music around us pounded through my veins. His thumbs stroked higher. It was a matter of moments before he realised how wet he’d made me.
He stopped short of my knickers. “And I don’t know why you want me to pretend to be your boyfriend as there is no one to pretend to, we’re all alone.”
My mouth had gone dry waiting for the thoughts behind his gaze.
“But I suppose someone could walk in,” he said with a gravelly voice. I clenched my thighs at the thought of someone catching us. The public kiss had been a way to convince Jamie I was out of bounds, but now it had become a game.
“Oh, you like the idea of that, Grace?” He laughed in a voice so deep that I pushed my pelvis forward, rubbing softly against him. “I don’t know what is going on with you and right now I don’t care. I want this.”
With his eyes fixed on mine almost as if he was asking for consent, he slipped his finger through the belt on my dressing gown and pulled. The more undone my belt became, the more sensual his smile. Every movement he made was slow and considered and what could have been a quickie in Grand Central was torture. My heart thumped hard as if every sense was on high alert. I swallowed noisily as the belt came undone and fell to my sides. Even with all we had done this felt like the precipice. If someone walked into Grand Central now, we’d stop and probably never talk about it again. With one move, I would be nearly naked in front of him. But was he willing to take that step and change everything? I licked my lips and squeezed my thighs in an attempt to will him further.
“I want this, George.”
He took a deep breath, his gaze never leaving my eyes, reached up and pushed my soft robe apart. I sat in his lap, my body on display for him. I wanted to moan, yet we’d barely done anything. I ached for his touch.
He was my best friend, and my fantasy.
His gaze dropped down, and he stared in awe at my body. Brazenly I lifted my chest and presented myself to him. My nipples were pert, and my chest flushed. “Fucking hell, Grace. You’re gorgeous,” he said with a gravelly voice. I’d never felt alluring before, but with him, I was a vixen.
Anyone could walk in on us, and I didn’t care. I’d do anything for George to fuck my brains out on this tatty sofa. He dipped his head, never breaking eye contact until his lips covered my nipple. I hissed with pleasure as he sucked and bit at the sensitive flesh. I made soft circular movements with my pelvis against his jeans, trying to get more satisfaction to my pussy.
“Please, more,” I moaned as he lavished my breast with his mouth. Wetness pooled in my knickers as he ran his fingertips down my legs. His nails were sharp against my skin, and I clamped a hand over my mouth to stop crying out.
Even behind my hand, a “oh” of pleasure fell from between my lips. Suddenly George’s hands were everywhere; one massaged the breast that was missing out on his mouth while the other was between my legs. It stroked closer to my pussy. I held it fast scared he might take it away. It was so close to touching me where I needed it.
He leant back to watch me as his thumb brushed my clit on top of my knickers. Before I could respond with more pleading a familiar melody filtered through to my conscious.
It was the ringtone he used for work.
No, please, no.
He paused. I couldn’t blame him. I knew how important his job was to him. His boss rarely called unless it was significant.
“It’s okay, you can answer it,” I said softly, trying to convey that I wasn’t annoyed. Sexually frustrated, but not annoyed.
His features twisted as if he couldn’t decide what to do next. “I’ll leave it,” he said as the tune stopped. “See, all sorted.”
The melody started again. It had to be a serious call.
“It’s okay, really,” I replied with a peck on his lips.
He fished through his pocket as I stood back up and took extra care in retying my dressing gown. I didn’t dare look at him. Maybe he had regrets for the line we’d crossed or perhaps he wasn’t thinking about me at all.
I pretended to tidy up the kitchen, but all I was doing was picking things up and putting them back down again in the same place. I caught George’s end of the conversation, but it gave me no hints to what was happening.
My body hadn’t got the message that playtime was over. My knickers were soaked, and my heart ached as hard as my pussy.
“Bye, boss. I’ll see you soon,” he finished the call.
Don’t drop your shoulders. Don’t you dare look sad, Grace.
I turned to face him, hoping to see some of my disappointment on his face, but he was smiling so hard it would have been infectious if it hadn’t hurt so much.
“They want me to interview Adele. It’s the first interview she’s done in years, and she wanted me! She’s only in town for the next two hours, so it’s now or never,” he beamed as he tidied his hair and pulled his shirt back down. He was gorgeous, and I hated myself for wanting him to stay even though he was about to do the most significant interview of his career.
“I’m so happy for you,” I replied breezily. I looked down to his crotch that hinted at what we’d been up to. “I think I’ve left a wet spot on your, umm, jeans.”
He looked down and back up, and I saw a hint of arousal and conflict in his eyes. It was the only sign that what was affecting me had got to him too. “It’s okay. I’ll get my boss to bring a spare pair to the interview.”
He headed to the door, pausing for a second. “I’ll be in touch as soon as I can be. I’ve got to go and prep. See you, Grace.”
The door slammed, and I was left horny, sad and ready to guzzle the rest of my wine before my night out. Would I hear from him again and if so would it be like nothing had happened between us? What if the sexiest moment in my life was already his biggest mistake?
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