G is for Ghosting, part 2

My name is Rebecca and I was ghosted… In my last post, I shared the many reasons why people ghost others and explained that I had ghosted men myself. It was usually when I was too scared to admit to the guy that there wasn’t any chemistry between us.

ghostedMy own experience of being on the receiving end was a shock for me in my newbie naivety. John Hoe was the first guy I chatted to online that I had chemistry with. An older guy, attractive and funny. The sort of man who you might find working in your office. Think about any of the offices you’ve worked in. Was there that guy that the ladies tended to swoon over? Did he charm all who met him, flirt easily and have a smile that made you want to run your lips across it before tasting his mouth and seeing if he kissed as well as you imagined?

That was John Hoe and I thought I was the luckiest lady because I was the focus of his attention. I was incredibly inexperienced when it came to being chatted up. I foolishly thought constant texting always meant an attraction that would lead to more.

After what was in fact a pretty short time conversing online, we swapped numbers and texted constantly. For a week, it was several hours during the day and then non-stop after work before finally dropping off to sleep and starting again the next day. The laughter from both of us seemed non-stop but it wasn’t just surface chat, we shared times we’d been hurt, our hopes and dreams and the events of our day. The photos messaged were relatively chaste, after all I was a newbie, but still flirty.

On one of the days spent messaging I broached the question of “Would you like to go on a date some time?” My heart was in my mouth. I trembled as I pressed send. Then I waited. Would he respond, would I ever hear from him again? I had no idea. I sat at my desk, anxious for a reply, keeping an eye on my phone, desperately waiting for that tell-tale vibration that would signal a new message.

People who tried to enter my office were forced to depart. I didn’t have time for any of their shit. I was asking a guy out, something I’d never done before!

And then the reply came.

ghosting“Of course I would.”

I shimmied around my office, nearly twerking with excitement. The smile that was plastered across my face refused to leave its new home for days. In hindsight, I was desperately naive but I’d never asked a guy out and I truly believed that things might finally be going my way.

The texts that brought smiles to my face continued to go back and forth but there was no mention of the date again, no agreed time, the location wasn’t even a topic hinted at. But the chemistry between us, even via text, was still undeniable.

After six days of solid texting his messages suddenly reduced significantly. We communicated via Whatsapp, sometimes a useful message app. Although, sadly, it’s also a useful tool for men who want to send me pictures of their rock-hard tools.

John Hoe went from a message virtually every minute to maybe a couple of messages over the course of a day.

What had I done wrong? He was the cool, older, experienced guy, it must have been me who made the mistake, surely? But now, with the benefit of hindsight and experience I don’t believe I did anything wrong, he just moved on. He’d ghosted me. I continued to wait to hear from him. I didn’t want to put pressure on him and what I still, again naively, thought might grow into more. But the messages dried up and over the next couple of days I didn’t hear from him at all.

So, what did I do?

I’m cringing as I write this. I sent him a message that I wish I hadn’t. Maybe I should have been dignified and walked away but I was hurt and confused. I couldn’t understand how what had been great chemistry could suddenly become, at best, something insignificant and, at worst, rejection.

I don’t remember exactly what I sent but it could have been worse. Can you tell that I’m trying to justify myself? It was something like…

Me: I’ve really enjoyed chatting to you and I was surprised I hadn’t heard from you recently. I hope you’re okay.

Suddenly I was back to anxiously waiting in my office, wondering if I would get a reply, waiting for that phone vibration. I hoped against hope that he’d tell me that he’d lost his phone or had been really busy with work. But that didn’t happen.

No reply materialised and when I went back on Whatsapp I could see that he’d read my message and then, from what I’ve learnt about the app since, I’m pretty sure he blocked me. I was horrified and left questioning everything I’d said and done. Personally speaking, I don’t block people unless something significant has happened. In fact, I’ve only ever blocked three people, and that was for substantial reasons.

I wouldn’t have texted again, the lack of reply to my last message was enough. But he didn’t know me really, even after all our chatting.

So, what went wrong? I confess I got my friends to check the messages I’d sent, just to make sure they weren’t freaky weird. According to my experienced, knowledgeable friends they weren’t odd at all.

Maybe he just moved on to someone new, maybe I wasn’t what he wanted? I’ll leave you to mull it over because I’ve done enough of that in the past. I’ve seen John Hoe on a couple of sites since but I’ve never been tempted to speak to him again.

I reiterate a previous point, you never know what someone else is thinking.

But ghosting, especially after prolonged contact or dating, is unnecessary. Maybe in those situations tell the potential there’s no chemistry, you’ve met someone else or things have changed. Be as honest as you’re willing to be but still polite and if possible avoid the ghosting tactic because it hurts. You’d hate for it to be done to you.

On the flip side, you shouldn’t let someone who has ghosted you get you down or ruin your enthusiasm for dating; they were probably an arsehole anyway. It’s their problem not yours. Thankfully, I got “back on the horse”, moved onwards and upwards and eventually met other guys including Mr Fumble and Stallion Stan.

You can find out more about them in my blog post on H is for Heartbreak.

G is for…Ghosting

What is ghosting? Have you done it?

Have you seen this word before in the context of dating?

ghostingIf you’ve tried online dating in the last couple of years, even for just a short time, then you’ve probably been victim to it. The act of ghosting has been around for years. But with the rise in popularity of dating apps, messaging strangers before meeting them and the increasing numbers of those who are doing it, including married people, ghosting is all around us.

In August 2015, The Guardian reported on a survey completed by GlobalWeb Index. The survey found that globally approximately a third of dating app Tinder’s users are married. Tinder hit back in a Twitter frenzy with their own data which said that only 1.7% of Tinder users are married. Whichever piece of data, survey or opinion you believe it doesn’t stop the fact that there are all sorts of mysteries to be found via online dating. But how does this relate to ghosting and what is it?

Ghosting is when you’re chatting to someone, maybe even going on dates with them, and suddenly all communication stops. Messages are no longer replied to, future dates and any form of politeness or chemistry is quickly forgotten. The person being ghosted may initially wonder if the other person is okay but after a while the hint is obvious. Something you thought was going well has ended in a cowardly, maybe even cruel, way and you have no idea why. I’ve seen for myself that ghosting can hurt.

Ghosting may have been orchestrated for many reasons:

  • they’ve found someone else they connect with better
  • you said something they didn’t like and instead of explaining they’ve moved on
  • they’ve decided they didn’t have much of a connection with you
  • you were a time filler and they’ve found a different way to spend their time
  • you met and they didn’t fancy you but they don’t know how to tell you
  • they expected you to be more physical or less physical than you were
  • you did something really weird
  • they’ve found someone physically closer
  • an unwanted dick pic was sent
  • they’ve found someone easier
  • they were married all along and they had the online fun they were after
  • the mother ship returned and beamed them home to another planet!

ghostingThe possibilities are endless and that is part of the problem. You’re left wondering but never knowing what has changed. You could be considering the worse, questioning yourself and everything you said and did. Ghosting can consume us and leave us with more baggage than we started with and inevitably our fences go up.

If you started online dating because you were looking for some form of validation or you were desperately looking for a way to raise your confidence, then you need to be prepared for the possibility of getting hurt. A certain level of confidence is required to get through the arseholes that litter the corridors of your dating experiences.

Okay, it’s confession time readers. Feel free to judge me, I’ll take it like a reveller wearing Pikachu fancy dress in town on a Saturday night.

I have ghosted guys.

I could throw myself on your mercy but I don’t have any reasons or even an excuse. All I can say is that I too have had my gutless moments. My lack of experience didn’t help but, ultimately, I can be a massive chicken. I should have treated guys better and now I can say that I’ll never ghost a guy that I’ve been on a date with or given my mobile number to. I also no longer give my number out to just anyone.

I’ll tell you about my own experience of being ghosted in my next post. In the meantime, if you’d like to share your thoughts or experiences then please comment below or visit my Facebook page or Twitter page.

D is for Dick Pic: How to do it Properly (or at least Better)

dick pic anonymityIn my last post, D is for Dick Pic, I talked about some of the reasons men choose to send pictures of their dicks to virtual strangers.

Some people find photos like these a form of harassment. Others find them harmless and there are those that get a bit of excitement and a turn on from them. If you’re going down the route of sending a dick pic, tit pic, fanny photo or something a bit more teasing then there’s some things you need to keep in mind.

Stay Safe While Taking and Sending a Dick Pic

Consider using a filter on the photo or some sort of subtle effect. It will help hide some of the blemishes and bits you’re less proud of and might make you feel more confident. I’m not suggesting airbrushing it within an inch of its life but a few subtle changes in lighting can go a long way. Apps like Snapseed can be your new best friend.

If you’re a woman who wants to take a tit pic or underwear shot and you’re a bit belly conscious then take it lying down with the camera near your head and angled down your body.

Invest in some nice underwear. Although the other person probably won’t be looking at it, wearing something tight fitting, lacy or pretty will bolster your confidence. No one wants a photo with skid marks or unsightly stains on the clothing unless they’re into a whole different kind of fetish. You want the person you’re messaging to be excited, not preparing the washing machine.

Always check the background of the photo before it’s sent. We’d probably hate for the potential to see our box of sanitary towels, the reflection of our nipples, some really freaky sex toys that we failed to mention we’re into or, even worse, our home address on a letter! Try not to become one of those Social Media laughing stocks when your photo is circulated for all the wrong reasons.

Less is More

If you’re thinking of sending a naked photo maybe you should consider some other options first. You could try sending a photo of yourself in a pretty dress or sexy suit, a fancy dress outfit or even some sexy underwear. It doesn’t matter what the potential wants to see you in, you’re in control. It’s your camera and your body. If the potential doesn’t like what you send them then they can bugger off. It’s meant to be a flirty and fun option. It’s not a reason to be treated negatively or feel like you’re fending off unruly demands.

No Criminal Activity

If you’re under eighteen, don’t send or receive any photos. Don’t put someone else in the situation where they could get in trouble. Don’t request photos from anyone under eighteen either. It’s illegal and you could end up with a police caution or, for more serious cases, on the sex offenders register.

Don’t share anyone else’s private sexual photos and films without their consent. Revenge porn is a criminal offense and if you do it then you’re also a completely nasty fuckwit.

Finally, and in my opinion this is the most important one to remember, never and I mean never, unless you’re in a very trusting, long-term relationship, never ever include your face in the sexual photos or films you send. Some people are shitheads and, illegal or not, will still use the photos to threaten you, for shits and giggles, post them online for humiliation purposes or as a boast, or keep them in their online wank bank, indefinitely. It’s even been a story on Coronation Street. There are people in this world you’d never want to see your pillowcase up close, let alone your intimate fun zones. So have a good think before you send any photos and never show your face.

My Own Dick Pic Experiences

Dick picI’ve only ever received one dick pic that included the face. We’ll call him Harry Beaver because his preference was for women’s fun zones to be a certain way. I’m not talking shaved, trimmed or tidy. Harry Beaver liked it to be a seventies afro down there! As I said, everyone has their preferences but it doesn’t stop me being surprised by them. Harry took a full frontal in front of the mirror for his photo message. I deleted it immediately but I still have nightmares about the smug grin on his face, not to mention the open legs and Godzilla hanging between them.

Thankfully, I’m not the type to embrace evil tactics but I could have been. Imagine if I was the type to post it online. Or had shown it to everyone I knew. Or projected the image of that smirk and meat stick onto the House of Commons. It would have meant some humiliation for him, maybe affected later relationships, friendships and his job. It was also hugely uncomfortable when I recognised him as he walked through town a few weeks later. Thankfully, he didn’t see the uncomfortable lady gawking and blanching in his direction.

Don’t let yourself be the victim of someone else’s madness. Be body proud but don’t be a humiliated, regretful fool that let one second of fun damage their lives.

D is for Dick Pics

dick picsThe weirdest thing I found during my foray into online dating was that even the sweet guys send dick pics. One guy I was particularly fond of sent me a picture of his cock with a dickie bow around it because it was nearly my birthday. That’s taking it to a whole new level…to the dizzy heights of a dickie pic! It was a level no one has come close to since. He certainly knew how to stand out as did his very hard “little” friend.

So why do guys send pictures of their cocks to unsuspecting online potentials? I’m pulsating with ideas, they have penetrated my mind and filled my consciousness as they pound me endlessly. But if you throb with excitement too then don’t feel shafted. Make sure you plunder my twitter with your own thoughts.

Why Do Men Persist in Sending Dick Pics?

Here are the ideas I’ve banged out (and please accept my apologies for the puns, I couldn’t resist whacking them out):

  • They’re looking for validation. We all need to feel attractive and wanted at times. For me, that means wearing a stunning dress and being told I look beautiful. Maybe some men get the same glowing feeling by sending a picture of their cock and waiting for the compliments to roll in.
  • The guys want you to see how hard you make them. It could be that they’re surprised at just how quick and rock hard they’ve become and want to share that. One guy used to tell me frequently “I adore you and you make me as hard as hell”. The compliment being that not only did he think I was great but he was also taken aback at how hard it made him to speak to me. The picture could be the guy’s immature way of paying you a compliment.
  • Mr Dick Pic wants you to imagine what sex with him would be like. He’s a visual guy and so this is how he translates his thoughts to you. He’s been thinking about sex with you; he wants to have sex with you. The part of him suggesting that you should have a nice date where he tries to woo you has gone from his head. It may have taken a permanent holiday while he thinks about sex with you.
  • The fella is trying to charm you and make you smile. A joke would probably go down a lot better. Unfortunately, the sensible part of their brain that tells them that one of the most unattractive parts of their body isn’t going to win you over is being drowned in horny-ness.
  • They want a picture in return. This is the most likely reason, in my opinion. Think of it as tit for tat. They’ve shown you their tat so now they want to see some tit. However, I’ve been sent many dick pics and I’ve never sent a tit pic, or a fanny photo. So, to say it’s not a winning strategy is a massive understatement.

Stay Safe (and Anonymous)

In the next blog post, I’ll talk about the ways you can send an intimate picture that will protect your privacy and, hopefully, provide the intended turn-on rather than sending the other person screaming into the night.

Meanwhile, let me know if you’ve ever sent an intimate photo or received a really funny or unusual one. Add your comments below or share it on my Facebook page.

Boredom and Loneliness and Staying Focused on Your Goal

In the last blog post, B is for Boredom, I talked about some of the reasons we join dating sites. Although B is for Boredom, this is really more about staying focused on your goals and remaining honest about them.

If we lose our focus then we run into problems. To explain this I shall tell you about Slick Dick.

Boredom and Loneliness

boredom and lonelinessSlick Dick was a guy I met on one of the paid dating sites. I will discuss later the people we can find on the multitude of sites, including the ones more likely to be frequented by those who are looking for a night of fun or a lifetime of happiness. Guys like Dick weren’t normally found on the paid sites.

He was on the rebound; it was obvious, eventually. Sadly, even the obvious is difficult to see when your eyes are focusing on an attractive face and a heart-stopping smile. The guy was gorgeous. Anyway, I shouldn’t get side-tracked, that was the problem in the first place. I suspect Dick may have been hurt, come out of a long-term relationship and didn’t really know what possibilities were out there. He was a fast learner. Dick was easy to talk to, a bit shy but still good at flirting. He could make you feel as sexy as a woman in a Justin Timberlake song and have I mentioned…hot hot hot! Sadly, he became wise to this pretty quickly. Overnight he went from a relatively innocent charmer who wanted to go on a date, to someone who would mess with your head in a bad way.

From Shy to Slick

Days before we were due to meet I came down with flu. So we rescheduled. Slick was suddenly only free on one day within the next three weeks. And the location would have to be within a short distance from where he lived because his puppy (not a euphemism) couldn’t be left alone. The holiday he had from work was nearly over and I was told several times “my hands are tied”.

The date was scheduled for three days’ time but as it got closer the once shy Slick was becoming very cocky. It turned out that the original plan of a nice meal and maybe walking his dog was not enough anymore. Slick explained to me that I was a sure thing and during this date we would be having sex. I was adamant that was not the case. It shocked him completely, so much so that he must have lost the ability to use his phone. The texts swiftly reduced to nearly non-existent, unless his horn rose up in his pants.

The date never happened. The day slot he could fit me into turned into an afternoon that would involve less time than I would spend driving there and back. Then the afternoon got postponed and two days later I was ghosted (see G is for Ghosting later in this series). I almost did something very stupid for a pretty face. You’d think I would only need to learn that lesson once but sadly not; I forget it approximately every six months.

Stay Focussed

Maybe I should give Slick the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he met someone in the meantime and didn’t know how to tell me.

But I was left wondering, what changed?

Dick initially seemed to be a slightly innocent and sweet guy. I guess he could have been really good at playing games and I was just as good at not seeing them. However, I suspect Slick got a lot more attention than he expected when he started internet dating and began to believe his own hype.

Lots of girls would have been into Dick. I could be wrong but what drew me closer to this thought was when he accidentally sent me the photo of another girl he was talking to instead of the photo he was trying to send. Bless him, he couldn’t think of a lie quick enough to explain who she was. Maybe he was just more Dick than Slick.

LonelinessWe can all get carried away with the attention we get when we first join sites. I’m sure I’ve overlooked potentials because of a pretty face, a seductive comment and the odd kiss ass. I hope Slick Dick eventually found what he was looking for and had an enjoyable time doing it.

Your Reasons are Not Their Reasons

A very wise person once told me that in life we never know what someone else is thinking and that seems especially true when it comes to online dating.

We might be chatting to someone who is trying to bring some excitement into their life while their spouse sleeps soundly in another room. It might be that a potential has been cheated on and they’re searching for desperately needed validation. Or we could be in contact with a scared and lonely virgin who has never had a first kiss let alone a boyfriend or girlfriend.

We will never truly know what’s going on in the head of the person we’re chatting to and what their motives are for joining the dating sites. Only we can decide what we believe and if the situation is worth it.

What are your reasons for online dating? Ever been seduced by a Slick Dick? Let us know on our Facebook page or below in the comments.

B is for…Boredom

Boredom can be a bit of a dating plague but…you’re doing internet dating and have done for a while. So let me ask you something as we hit B.

Why did you start internet dating?

b is for boredomSit, think, maybe boil the kettle, grab yourself a digestive and have a really good contemplative moment.

Why did you join the site(s) you’re on, why did you decide to download that app or come up with that weird username that you spent about half an hour thinking about? Why did you search through all your photos to find the one that made you look hotter than normal but still vaguely like yourself? Do you remember the day you spent hours trying to take the flawless Kim Kardashian selfie? Maybe you were picking the perfect outfit, you know the one that hides your protruding belly, gives your boobs that lift, suggests you have a six pack or makes you look hilarious (delete as appropriate).

All this effort must have been for a reason. Unless you didn’t put any effort into the process at all. Shame on you, you know who you are.

There’s no point being worried or ashamed. If there was a reason what was it? Say it in your head right now.

Go on, say it.

Reasons for Internet Dating

It’s safe to say that people do internet dating for a multitude of reasons. Here are some of mine from the last couple of years:

• Because I wanted to find love
• Because I wanted to feel turned on
• Because I missed texting guys
• Because I wanted to go on dates
• Because I was hurting
• Because I wanted to feel attractive
• Because I wanted to find a boyfriend

I can’t say I’m proud of all of those reasons, in fact until I started writing them down I’d probably never admitted some of them.

Maybe yours are more varied and surprising. Some of the reasons from guys I’ve spoken to have included:
• To get laid
• To have sex
• To shove their cock in someone

I’m joking, I know there are more reasons that that, although I expect sex is frequently in the back of our minds.

Real reasons have included:
• Boredom
• Wanting a spouse
• Loneliness
• Feeling ugly
• Wanting a baby
• Being on the rebound
• Not able to pick up a potential in “real life”, maybe because they’re busy, not confident
• Told to by their mates or signed up by mates
• To move on in life
• Finding someone to do things with at weekends
• To stop hurting
• To meet new people
• Wanting someone to care about them
• Wanting to feel accepted for who they are
• Sex, sex and of course sex

boredomB is for Boredom

When it comes to online dating we need to remember our reasons for doing it and stay focused on them. If you want sex then focus on that, if you want a boyfriend or girlfriend then don’t forget it.

I mentioned in the title of this post that B is for Boredom and that is a genuine reason for many to pursue online dating. We don’t like to be bored, especially as boredom can lead to loneliness. It’s as valid a reason as any other to try online dating. In the next post, I’ll tell you about Slick Dick and how he went from a seemingly nice, honest guy looking to escape loneliness to a person who lost that focus, leaving me and possibly others in the lurch due to his lack of honesty about his new found goals.

What is the A-Z of Dating?

A-Z of DatingMy online dating had to start somewhere…I’ve been doing online dating properly for the last couple of years, on and off. During this time, I’ve met all sorts of potentials; i.e. the people I chat to online, maybe go on a date with. They’re potential partners, conquests, spouses and everything else in between.

It has been a thrill ride at times. I’ve chatted to a lot of men by text, and some lucky bastards have even made it past the screening process and met me! In fact every so often I meet someone special who gives me the hope that I might find what I’m looking for.

A-Z of Dating

This led me to write a book that covers the last two serious years of my dating life as well as some attempts before that when I was completely clueless and pretending to be someone I wasn’t.

Instead of publishing it immediately (something I will probably do in the future), I thought I would share the best bits here on my blog.

It’s a scary world out there but I hope this “book” will be like someone holding your hand as you attempt to discover it for yourself. I’ve been there and I know a lot of the pitfalls.

Answers to Some of Your Online Dating Questions

There’s something for everyone online, a variety of sites, apps, potentials and preferences (also known as fetishes). So, whether you’re looking for a one night stand, love, companionship or anything else then it’s out there.

  • But how do you go about finding what you want?
  • What site do you use?
  • What do you put on your profile?
  • What do you say when you want to chat potentials up?
  • What do you do when they reply?
  • And what do you do when they send you a dick pic/fanny photo?

I’ll be sharing some of the answers to those questions and probably some things that will make you want to cover your eyes and bleach your brain!

In this A-Z you’ll find lots of real life dating experiences from myself and my friends. There’s information about the different potentials in the fish pond and how to approach them. Online dating has changed a lot over the years. These are some things I wish I’d known before I started.

Alternatively, you may already have a partner. Maybe you’re glancing over at them, seething because they didn’t give you the perfect birthday present this year, forgot to get the shopping you asked for three times, or never try different positions while you ache to experiment. For you I say read this and maybe it will help you appreciate what you have.

Keep checking back for updates and please share your own experiences, either here or on my Facebook page.

Insecurities and Taking the Lead, First Date

Sometimes when we’ve been doing this online dating malarkey for a while we can forget that we’re not the only insecure person
doing it.

I have my confident moments but there are also times when I wonder why a guy hasn’t returned my message, why the date we’ve talked about hasn’t been put in the diary or if the man has found someone “better”. We all have our low moments and dating can eat at our confidence, plaguing these insecure times before sending us spiralling, questioning every aspect of ourselves. There are players, idiots and damaged people out there; male and female, but they’re not the only people on online dating sites.

Online Dating insecurities

Dano insecuritiesThis brings me to my date last weekend. A first date. I’m going to call him Fuck ‘Em Dano or Dano for short. Not because he was a guy who fucked around but because he looked like Paul Dano, the actor from War and Peace and There Will Be Blood.

Dano was nervous. Initially he hid it well, so well I was thinking that something was wrong with the date or maybe he wasn’t interested in me. However, as the date continued I realised that the uncomfortable silences were because he felt awkward and didn’t know what to say. It was like a dance and he couldn’t hear the rhythm of the music let alone have the skills to take the lead. Dano just didn’t know what to say and so he said some unusual things for a first date. These included, “Am I really weird?” “I know this sounds stupid but…” “I’ve made this awkward…”

It became one of those dates where I was the confident one and had to offer many reassurances. But I found a way to bring him free from his nerves. I made, yes made, him ask me questions, any questions he liked and I promised to answer. For some reason it worked like a charm.

Dano even shyly told me that the noises we’d heard earlier, while eating, were the urinals. Sheepishly explaining that the position of them meant that he’d had to wee near where my head would have been. Then he blushed.

The guy was adorable and his respect of me endearing. Also, he made me laugh. I can’t abide dates where I don’t laugh, I am a chuckler even in the most unlikely situations. I’m talking funerals.

But there were two problems from my date:

Flirting tango1) I don’t think he knows how to flirt or if he does then he doesn’t seem to understand when I’m doing it. I can be cheeky and naughty on good dates but he never took my lead. None of the questions he asked me were naughty. I did explain to him that I wrote romance books with sex in them but there wasn’t any response to that. It was unusual for me to have a man in front of me that doesn’t join in my naughtiness but I’m hoping I can draw him in that direction. It’s as if we were doing an awkward tango but I’m the lead dancer.

2) There was no spark and very little chemistry. Dano suggested he was on his best behaviour for our date, which might have explained some of the lack of chemistry. But during our time together I wasn’t hoping I would get that first kiss or wondering what an accidental touch of his hand to any part of my body would feel like.

I write erotic romance and while I don’t believe that a real life book boyfriend is suddenly going to appear when I first meet a guy I have had those dates where the attraction and chemistry have filled my mind and formed my fantasies.

So what now?

I am going on a second date with Dano. He asked almost immediately and I’m hoping he’ll have less nerves, which will make for more fun and relaxed chatter. But I’m not holding out too many hopes either. Dano, my toyboy by five years, is a nice guy and I want to like him. I want to fancy him but I can’t force something that isn’t there.

Have you ever been in this situation yourself?

What would you do?