In the last blog post (Let’s Start at the Very Beginning: A is for…), we were talking about preferences and why I don’t refer to them as fetishes. I mentioned that what turns one person on may be terrifying to another.
One guy told me that he liked to watch his partner have sex with someone else while he wanked himself off. The woman was his “own personal pornstar”. He’d actually acted this preference out with his ex-wife, twice. I was shocked and must have been obvious about it because we didn’t speak much after that.
I’d Do Anything for Love…Maybe?
Depending on who we are and what we’re into, a potential may share a preference that initially freaks us out. But, eventually, after more details are shared, we might start to consider it and not run for the hills while voice dialling the nearest mental health worker.
Let me introduce you to Peter Wang who I dated for a while.
Peter Wang was one of those rare joys that you find in a guy. Games and manipulation weren’t part of his repertoire, and I imagined that he could be a best friend for life. Peter was always there for me. Nights spent apart, he’d ask me to call when I was safely home and he’d phone when he was on his way home too.
But there was a query: was Peter boyfriend material?
Peter Pan Syndrome
Sadly, the answer was a resounding “no”. I struggled with physical and sexual attraction when it came to Peter. Even though we were similar ages he had a concerning level of immaturity. Peter was a loveable geek and I liked that side of him. But there were still things that put me off, including the teen posters still tacked to his wall and the realisation he had more sci-fi toys and merchandise than floor space. Getting to the single bed was quite a struggle. Maybe you’re thinking, “Give the guy a break, living with your parents and dating is hard in your early twenties”. I agree, but this guy was nearly thirty and he lived with friends.
Maybe I’m doing him a disservice, because he really made me laugh and gave me a love and respect that was rare in life. Finally, I felt like a prize that only the best deserved. I felt sexually attractive in a way I’d never felt before. The night we spent just sleeping in bed resulted in him being so permanently hard that he uttered, “Oh my God, if this carries on I think I’m going to need to see a doctor!”
Unfortunately, all he got that night was a giggle.
When you’ve met as many dickheads as I had, Peter seemed special. Sadly it didn’t work out because sometimes it just doesn’t. And I used to wistfully wonder, “Is he still in Neverland refusing to grow up?”
One of the reasons for the lack of long-term relationship wasn’t his preference. You may have heard of WAM before but, until Peter confessed this fantasy I hadn’t. How people’s minds work and what turns them on left me stunned.
WAM is “wet and messy play.” Before your mind spirals in numerous directions, as mine may have done, stop! We’re not talking urine and faeces in the bedroom. Have you ever watched someone get a custard pie in the face and found yourself getting hard? Maybe the thought of bringing gunge into the bedroom makes you wet with excitement? No? Then you’re not into WAM.
For some it’s the image of gloop running down the face, falling between the breasts. For others, it’s the idea of being covered in a messy, sticky substance that isn’t cum. But then another group of people enjoy the anticipation, the anxiety that goes with the possibility that it might happen, the fear and excitement that accompanies being humiliated in public. Imagine people watching and laughing as you’re gunged with the man or woman of your dreams. That can be a massive preference, one that people aren’t always keen to share.
…Thank You Ma’am
I was never fully sure which aspect of WAM turned Peter on the most. And I didn’t get his preference myself. It wasn’t for me.
With potentials and partners we might be willing to do some things we find unusual. That might include putting all our effort into blow jobs when we don’t enjoy them, sticking something up our arse or dressing up as a superhero, secretary or soldier.
For Peter Wang’s future girlfriend it may mean custard pies and gunge in the shower. I never went there but she might be more willing.
I’ll leave you with this question: how far would you go or how far have you already gone for someone you care about or love?
When Meatloaf said he would “do anything for love but I won’t do that” I wonder if he was talking about WAM or anal?
Tell me how far you’ve gone either here or on the Facebook page. You don’t have to share the gory details – just let us know how far you went out of your comfort zone and if it was worth it.