Some people do casual sex and some don’t. Whether we do or not it’s no one’s business but ours and the person we may or may not be sleeping with. Casual sex is a personal choice and will be based on many factors. These can include the person you’re considering doing it with, your general mood, the level of affection, what location is available and how much you’ve had to drink. It can be a well-planned military operation or as spontaneous as turning up at an airport and buying a ticket to the first location you see.
I know people who’ve done it and people who haven’t. If you want to do it then jump right in, preferably not feet first as that makes it a bit more complicated. But make sure that if that’s your choice, it’s the choice of the person you’re sleeping with as well.
Casual Sex is Not An Excuse for Lying
Maybe your aim is to screw as many people as possible and hit some round numbers. It’s good to have a goal in life, but be honest about it. If that’s what you want then you shouldn’t pretend differently. There’s lots of people out there of both sexes who are looking for casual sex. So, let’s do the world a favour and not mindf**k someone who’s looking for something longer term. In the same way, if you’re looking for long term don’t pretend you’re fine with casual sex and then turn into a psycho when casual sex is all you get.
Online dating doesn’t have to be a game. But if you’re doing it at someone else’s expense and enjoying hurting people in the process then maybe you need to see a counsellor and not the underwear of someone who is looking for marriage and has been led to believe that’s your aim too.
Let’s Be Honest
I recall a couple of years ago when I had my first foray into app dating sites. A pleasant guy and one of my matches started chatting with me. It went something like:
Seymour: Hey. Hope you’re having a good night. What sort of thing are you looking for on here?
Me: Probably just dating and then seeing how it goes. Maybe a relationship eventually. How about you?
Seymour: I’m hoping to find someone that I can have sex with tonight.
Me: Ah okay, I’m afraid that’s not me but good luck.
Seymour: You too. Laters!
We then moved on, hopefully to others who were more what we wanted. In my innocence I was surprised at his brazen and candid reply but now I wish all the guys I spoke to were as honest as Seymour.
On one app and website you can specify from a drop down list what you’re looking for. This includes, “is looking for a relationship” and “is looking for casual dating/no commitment”.
Thank goodness for these options, although they’re pretty pointless unless you’re honest. So, just be honest!
In my next post, I’ll share some of the ways you can spot those guys that are only interested in casual sex and, as promised, we’ll touch on the very important topic of condoms.