Boredom and Loneliness and Staying Focused on Your Goal

In the last blog post, B is for Boredom, I talked about some of the reasons we join dating sites. Although B is for Boredom, this is really more about staying focused on your goals and remaining honest about them.

If we lose our focus then we run into problems. To explain this I shall tell you about Slick Dick.

Boredom and Loneliness

boredom and lonelinessSlick Dick was a guy I met on one of the paid dating sites. I will discuss later the people we can find on the multitude of sites, including the ones more likely to be frequented by those who are looking for a night of fun or a lifetime of happiness. Guys like Dick weren’t normally found on the paid sites.

He was on the rebound; it was obvious, eventually. Sadly, even the obvious is difficult to see when your eyes are focusing on an attractive face and a heart-stopping smile. The guy was gorgeous. Anyway, I shouldn’t get side-tracked, that was the problem in the first place. I suspect Dick may have been hurt, come out of a long-term relationship and didn’t really know what possibilities were out there. He was a fast learner. Dick was easy to talk to, a bit shy but still good at flirting. He could make you feel as sexy as a woman in a Justin Timberlake song and have I mentioned…hot hot hot! Sadly, he became wise to this pretty quickly. Overnight he went from a relatively innocent charmer who wanted to go on a date, to someone who would mess with your head in a bad way.

From Shy to Slick

Days before we were due to meet I came down with flu. So we rescheduled. Slick was suddenly only free on one day within the next three weeks. And the location would have to be within a short distance from where he lived because his puppy (not a euphemism) couldn’t be left alone. The holiday he had from work was nearly over and I was told several times “my hands are tied”.

The date was scheduled for three days’ time but as it got closer the once shy Slick was becoming very cocky. It turned out that the original plan of a nice meal and maybe walking his dog was not enough anymore. Slick explained to me that I was a sure thing and during this date we would be having sex. I was adamant that was not the case. It shocked him completely, so much so that he must have lost the ability to use his phone. The texts swiftly reduced to nearly non-existent, unless his horn rose up in his pants.

The date never happened. The day slot he could fit me into turned into an afternoon that would involve less time than I would spend driving there and back. Then the afternoon got postponed and two days later I was ghosted (see G is for Ghosting later in this series). I almost did something very stupid for a pretty face. You’d think I would only need to learn that lesson once but sadly not; I forget it approximately every six months.

Stay Focussed

Maybe I should give Slick the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he met someone in the meantime and didn’t know how to tell me.

But I was left wondering, what changed?

Dick initially seemed to be a slightly innocent and sweet guy. I guess he could have been really good at playing games and I was just as good at not seeing them. However, I suspect Slick got a lot more attention than he expected when he started internet dating and began to believe his own hype.

Lots of girls would have been into Dick. I could be wrong but what drew me closer to this thought was when he accidentally sent me the photo of another girl he was talking to instead of the photo he was trying to send. Bless him, he couldn’t think of a lie quick enough to explain who she was. Maybe he was just more Dick than Slick.

LonelinessWe can all get carried away with the attention we get when we first join sites. I’m sure I’ve overlooked potentials because of a pretty face, a seductive comment and the odd kiss ass. I hope Slick Dick eventually found what he was looking for and had an enjoyable time doing it.

Your Reasons are Not Their Reasons

A very wise person once told me that in life we never know what someone else is thinking and that seems especially true when it comes to online dating.

We might be chatting to someone who is trying to bring some excitement into their life while their spouse sleeps soundly in another room. It might be that a potential has been cheated on and they’re searching for desperately needed validation. Or we could be in contact with a scared and lonely virgin who has never had a first kiss let alone a boyfriend or girlfriend.

We will never truly know what’s going on in the head of the person we’re chatting to and what their motives are for joining the dating sites. Only we can decide what we believe and if the situation is worth it.

What are your reasons for online dating? Ever been seduced by a Slick Dick? Let us know on our Facebook page or below in the comments.

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